Quotes About Communication

Should Statements. You criticize yourself or other people with shoulds, shouldn'ts, musts, ought tos, and have tos. There are several types of should statements:

Other-Directed Shoulds lead to feelings of anger and frustration when others don't meet our expectations ("He shouldn't feel that way" or "She shouldn't have said that!"). Other-directed shoulds cause conflicts with others, such as marital problems, arguments, and even violence and war.

Other-Blame.You blame others and overlook ways you might have contributed to the conflict.

Don't be afraid to ask other people how they would answer an upsetting thought if you can't figure out the appropriate rational response on your own.

The most loving women are the women who will test you the most.

Nobody will press your buttons or reflect your asshole to you better than your woman. She will point out your weaknesses better than a boot camp drill sergeant.

The way you relate to your woman's chaos reflects the way you react to the chaos of the world. If you are the kind of man who needs everything placed neatly in its nice little box, then you will also try to box your woman's emotions. If you are the kind of man who would rather hire other people to take care of the chaos in your attic, or the chaos of your finances, you would probably also rather leave it to someone else to take care of the chaos of your woman.

I am going to speak some reckless words, and I want you to listen recklessly.

Only when the front of your body is relaxed and opened, your breath full and deep, and your gaze unguarded and directly connected with another person's eyes, can your fullest intelligence manifest spontaneously in the situation.

You should always listen to your woman, and then make your own decision. If you choose to go with your woman's suggestion even when deep in your heart you feel that another decision is more wise, you are, in effect, saying, "I don't trust my own wisdom." You are weakening yourself by telling yourself this. You are weakening your woman's trust in you: why should she trust your wisdom if you don't?

However, if you give up your real decision to follow your woman's, then you will blame her for being wrong if she is wrong, and you will feel disempowered if she is right, having denied yourself the opportunity to act from your core and grow from your mistakes.

Never base your plans on what a woman says she wants to do, unless she is in the full flow of love when she says it. And then, expect her to change her mind at any moment when her feelings change.

If you are like most men, however, you probably end up feeling burdened by your woman's mood. You feel your woman is a pain in the ass. You wish your woman would leave you alone and take care of herself. Eventually you feel worn down, or frustrated. You end up simply tolerating your woman's moods, while resentment builds inside of you. You wonder, what's her problem? Why can't she just be happy?

You are the only one who can decide what is important to you in your relationship.

Practice love instead of trying to bring an end to the quality that bothers you. You can't escape the tussle with the feminine. Learn to find humor in the unending emotional drama the feminine seems to enjoy so much. The love that you magnify may realign her behavior, but your effort to fix her and your frustration

if you can bring her depth when she is superficial

In my workshops and consultations I hear independent and successful women complaining that many of today's men have become "wimps," too weak and ambiguous to really trust. Sensitive and affectionate men are complaining that many of today's women have become "ballbusters," too hardened and emotionally guarded to fully embrace. Is this the ultimate expression of human sexual wisdom and evolution, or is there another step to take?

a man with the power to punish anyone never hears anything except what he wants to hear. or, what's worse, what his subordinates think he wants to hear—and they don't dare ask him what it is.

I'm truly amazed at you, Garion, Polgara said. I didn't think you had the faintest idea of how to speak a civilized language. Thank you, he said, I think.

Refusing to talk about something wouldn't make it go away. If it was there, it was there, and no amount of verbal acrobatics could make it go away.

You'll fight with each other, of course, but never go to sleep angry. That was always my mistake.

Because they were both young, she was intolerant and he was stubborn.

Women are almost always angry with us for one reason or another. It's one of the things you'll have to get used to as you get older.

As long as people are talking instead of fighting, nobody loses very much blood—unless he happens to bite his tongue.