Quotes About Communication

I'm smiling, Sherlock, because I know exactly what's bothering my wife!" "Ah!" I reply. "So—" "Wait, wait. I'm getting to the best part," he interrupts. "So, like I said, I really do know what's wrong, but I'm not that interested in hearing another complaint. So this time, instead of asking, I decide I'm going to—

When we dance, we express our buried feelings, talking through our bodies instead of our minds—and that can help us get out of our heads and to a new level of awareness

I know that often people create faulty narratives to make themselves feel better in the moment even though it makes them feel worse over time—and that sometimes, they need somebody else to read between the lines.

the upside of being a therapist's child is that nothing gets shoved under the rug; the downside is that you'll be totally screwed up anyway).

Marriage isn't a constant passion-fest; it's more like a partnership formed to run a very small, mundane nonprofit business.

Freud argued that "the physician should be impenetrable to the patient, and like a mirror, reflect nothing but what is shown to him.

Our experiences with this person are important because we're probably feeling something pretty similar to what everyone else in this patient's life feels.

People don't have to tell you their stories with words because they always act them out for you.

Of course, anger serves another function—it pushes people away and keeps them from getting close enough to see you. I wonder if John needs people to be angry at him so that they won't see his sadness.

They wish they could stay longer but don't know how to say this directly. Acknowledging their attachment makes them feel too vulnerable.

I'm mindful of the fact that Very Angry People aren't Very Approachable.

But sometimes without realizing it, we are choosing to be in relationships with people who fit into an old story, or we are choosing to respond to them based on an unhealthy script.

But John often took note of my appearance: "Now you're looking more like a real mistress" (when I got highlights in my hair); "You better watch out, some people might see some cleavage" (when I wore a V-neck blouse); "Are those your fuck-me shoes for after work?" (when I wore heels). Each time, I'd try to talk about his "jokes" and the feelings underlying them.

Cuando caes en la compasión del idiota, evitas agitar las aguas para no lastimar a otra persona, aunque las aguas necesiten ser agitadas y tu compasión acabe resultando más perjudicial que tu sinceridad.

When working with couples on empathy, often I'll say, "Before you speak, ask yourself, What is this going to feel like to the person I'm speaking to? " I make a mental note to share this with John one day.

Apparently, you can make people happy by delivering bad news and then taking it back (which, personally, would just make me mad). Still,

You will inevitably hurt your partner, your parents, your children, your closest friend—and they will hurt you—because if you sign up for intimacy, getting hurt is part of the deal.

You know, John," I'd said the week before as he texted away, "I'm curious if you have any reaction to my feeling dismissed when you do this." He held up a finger—Hang on—but continued to text. When he finished, he looked up at me. "Sorry, what was I saying?" I loved that. Not "What were you saying" but "What was I saying.

Una conversazione implica una specie di collaborazione e, spesso, un atto di perdono. Quando parlo posso sbagliarmi ma, in qualche modo, riesco a spiegarmi. Sulla pagina sono sola. La lingua parlata è una specie di antecamera rispetto a quella scritta, la quale ha una propria logica, ancora più severa, più inafferrabile.

why did you tell me to look on the 'other' table instead of 'that' table?

I am thinking about you, I say to her. Can you hear me?

Just like children, emotions heal when they are heard and validated.

I know it can be very uncomfortable for a healthy person to try to communicate with someone who has had a stroke, but I needed my visitors to bring me their positive energy. Since conversation is obviously out of the question, I appreciated when people came in for just a few minutes, took my hands in theirs, and shared softly and slowly how they were doing, what they were thinking, and how they believed in my ability to recover.

Yelling louder does not help me understand you any better! Don't be afraid of me. Come closer to me. Bring me your gentle spirit. Speak more slowly. Enunciate more clearly. Again! Please, try again. S-l-o-w down. Be kind to me. Be a safe place for me. See that I am a wounded animal, not a stupid animal. I am vulnerable and confused. Whatever my age, whatever my credentials, reach for me. Respect me. I am in here. Come find me.