Quotes About Language

Americans have different ways of saying things. They say 'elevator', we say 'lift'... they say 'President', we say 'stupid psychopathic git.

Every once in a while, you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You can't do that. It's gone, gone forever.

Why is it that it's okay to call a white person "mate" yet it's not okay to call a black guy "primate"?

Canada is the linchpin of the English-speakin g world

I'm bi-lots of things but lingual isn't one of them. Wait, did I mean to say that?

I'm gonna fix that last joke by taking out all the words and adding new ones.

Don't gobblefunk around with words.

Let us swear while we may, for in heaven it will not be allowed

Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial 'we.'

Why can't I say anything normal?

Overseas, language barriers keep me from doing a lot of talking and some of the jokes that I think are funny and they're like crickets. I have to sharpen up on that.

There's something darn funny about an old librarian with a potty mouth.

The idea that no gentleman ever swears is all wrong. He can swear and still be a gentleman if he does it in a nice and benevolent and affectionate way.

Now, mark it. This may be strong language, but heed it. The people mean it, and, my friends of the Eastern Democracy, we bid farewell when you do that thing.

Isn't it funny the way some combinations of words can give you--almost apart from their meaning--a thrill like music?

I only speak a little pigeon French. Just enough to get by with the little French pigeons.

I don't think of any sentence as a "one-liner", but I do pay attention to how people actually speak when they are being funny. Rhythm is key.

Let's bring it up to date with some snappy nineteenth century dialogue.

Scrabble was invented by Nazis to piss off kids with dyslexia. This is true, they proved this one. The word dyslexia was invented by Nazis to piss off kids with dyslexia.

Here is the piece. If you can't say fornicate can you say copulate or if not that can you say co-habit? If not that would have to say consummate I suppose. Use your own good taste and judgment.

I have an all-Japanese design team, and none of them speak English. So it's often funny and surprising how my ideas end up lost in translation.

In TV today, you can say I pricked my finger, but you can't say it the other way around.

Are you Polish? Okay, I'll talk slower.

How do Polish people spell farm? E-I-E-I-O