Quotes About Medical

I have a zombie apocalypse kit at my house. I've got freeze dried food, I've got a real deal medical kit, like, a doctor could perform a surgery with this medical kit. I got all kinds of everything.

I went to see my doctor with a nasty pain in the ass. Turns out he's already met my wife.

How's his appendix?" "Like crap. They almost didn't catch it in time, and he's still doing the ass-plant in a hospital bed, being doted on by an army of hot nurses. Makes me sick." "Maybeyou should rupture something." "Any more of these stories out of you and I just might.

We usually think of disorder as a word reserved for more extreme conditions or experiences, such as significant depression or anxiety that keeps us from going to work or being present to our kids. We think of disorder perhaps in medical conditions, such as cancer or heart disease. But all of it is disordered. Even the healthiest of us is still living in a fallen world as a fallen person.

Dr. John Mack, M.D., a cum laude graduate of Harvard Medical School and M.I.T

In the current ethos of privatization, the incarcerated are often soaked even further with fees for their own imprisonment, sometimes including their housing, also food, supplies, and even medical lab fees. Corporations

Correctional officers, who lack resources for caring for the elderly, are also systematically hostile to providing medical treatment of prisoners, even though "the graying of the prison population has become a national epidemic afflicting states around the country—from California to Missouri to Florida.

The essence of a government health care system - for people who have never lived under it and don't know - is waiting, waiting, waiting. You wait for everything. You wait for years for operations that are routine in America.

I'm so old they've cancelled my blood type.

"Doctor, my leg hurts. What can I do?" The doctor says, "Limp!"

Whenever you get an inflamed tendon, you've got a problem. OK, here's the next pitch to Gene Tendon.

They really cut to the chase in the urologist's examination room, and I tried to laugh. If this office were a movie, it would have been rated R.

The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.

She needs open-heart surgery, and they should go in through her feet.

There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?

When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays.

I went to my doctor and asked for something for persistent wind. He gave me a kite. You see the trouble is he's very old fashioned. When he gives you an injection you have to bite on a bullet.

I'm so old they've canceled my blood type.

Today, all patients accepted for treatment at St. Jude's are treated without regard for the family's ability to pay. Everything beyond what is covered by insurance is taken care of, and for those without insurance, all of the medical costs are absorbed by the hospital.

If you walk into the examining room with a broken leg, the doctor doesn't pass judgment on how you broke your leg. He doesn't care if you broke your leg committing a crime or kicking the dog or tripping down the stairs or getting hit by a car. He only cares about fixing your leg.

I had a stab wound so large you could see the metal of my interior structure, but Senior Indah was too polite to mention it. The medical bot extended a delicate sensor limb toward me. On the feed I told it anything that touched me would get torn off and thrown across the room. It pulled the limb back and used it to check Hostile Two instead.

It has been suggested at various times that I should start an operation in the United Kingdom but - bearing in mind my age and medical history - I think this would be not a very sensible way to go forward.

Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you — that action on your part which best conserves the interests of your patient.

A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion.