Quotes About Pun

Brandy, anyone? My passion for spirits—" "No." Theodora giggled wildly. "Not that pun," she said.

Quite the contrary, it was an act of disdain for the complicated interchange known as conversation: for its vagaries, lost and meandering trails, half-understandings, and mysterious clarities. For the meaning of a pun is clear, all too clear. It demands a leap in understanding, to the exact place the punner demands.

What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion? A piece of ass that brings tears to your eyes.

Q: What do you call a sleeping bull? A: A bulldozer.

Q: What did the tomato do after falling behind in the race? A: Ketchup.

Q: What did the grape do when he got stepped on? A: He let out a little wine.

Q: Why did the cookie go to the hospital? A: It felt crummy.

Q: What do you call a small river that runs into the Nile? A: Juvenile.

Q: What do you call an epileptic cow? A: Beef jerky.

Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? A: Frostbite.

Q: What do you call a cow that won't give milk? A: A milk dud.

Of course they had more chains on him than Scrooge saw on Marley's ghost, but he could have kicked up dickens if he'd wanted. That's a pun, son.

Sinister is Latin for 'left', making it the sort of enjoyable schoolboy pun that is such an advert for mixed-gender education.

A book fell on my head. I can only blame my shelf.

CINDRELLA   Q. why did Cinderella get kicked off the soccer team? A. Because she kept running from the ball. BELT     Q. What do you call a belt made out of watches? A. Waist of time! ELEVATORS   Q. Why do ghosts love elevators? A. Because they lift their spirits! GRAVEYARD   Q. Why are there fences around a graveyard? A. Because people are dying to get in!

I was obsessed with country music when I was a kid, and it's definitely had a huge influence on the way I write songs. I was always attracted to songs that had a brilliant pun or a clever turn of phrase, but came from a dark, bitter place. As a writer, I've always gravitated towards that feeling.

I'd done an Edinburgh show before, in 1981, called 'The Importance of Being Varnished' - I was in the pun trade at the time.

I'm shameless, and I love a pun. There's a lot of Beth puns.

It wasn't the way he looked that made him impossible. It was what he said. It was his sense of humor. He would not resist a pun. And any man who will not resist a pun will never lie up-pun me.

Do what? Come up with a clever pun referencing Jerome's demonic status? The truth is, I usually keep a stash of them on hand and—

Even Christ reputedly made a pun when He said: "Thou art Peter: upon this rock I shall build my Church." It doesn't make a lot of sense from the wordplay point of view until you realize that in ancient Greek the word for Peter and for rock was the same.

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.

A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says You've been brought here for drinking. The drunk says Okay, let's get started.

the old pillars of an old decadent structure, are also built on the sexual fallacy. (Or as one is tempted to pun, phallacy.)