Quotes About Acceptance

The grief work has to be done. Fritz Perls said: "Nothing changes till it becomes what it is." Only by demythologizing our parents can we grasp the real harm that was done to us. To grasp that real harm was done to us allows us to own our feelings about being violated. To feel the feelings is the original pain work. Once we've connected with and expressed those feelings, we are free to move on.

Toxic shame is spiritual bankruptcy.

When we are shame-based, we can only focus on our own ache.

In order to be healed we must come out of isolation and hiding. This means finding a person, or ideally a group of significant others, whom we are willing to trust. This is tough for shame-based people.

A racket is a family-authorized feeling used to replace an unacceptable and shameful feeling.

The best way to come out of hiding is to find a nonshaming intimate person or social network. The operative word here is "intimate." We have to get on a core, gut level because shame is core, gut level stuff. Toxic shame masks our deepest secrets about ourselves; it embodies our belief that we are essentially defective.

When we trust someone else and experience their love and acceptance, we begin to change our beliefs about ourselves. We learn that we are not bad; we learn that we are lovable and acceptable.

True love is unconditional positive regard. Unconditional positive regard allows us to be whole and accept all the parts of ourselves. To be whole we must reunite all the shamed and split-off aspects of ourselves.

When we are loved unconditionally, i.e., accepted just as we are, we can then accept ourselves just as we are. Self-acceptance overcomes the self-rupture of toxic shame. Self-acceptance is the way to gain our personal power. When we accept ourselves, we are unified; all our energy is centered and flows outward.

To be committed to life as growth and overcoming is to be willing to accept suffering and risk pain.

Most gays carry an excessive amount of shame, as there is particularly strong and widespread shaming of boys who don't display the traditional masculine traits and behaviors. If you are a gay man or woman, your wounded inner preschooler needs to hear that it is perfectly okay to be who you are.

Laing spent his life exposing the destructive identity confusion that results when we become acceptable to others only by denying our own truth. He called this identity confusion mystification.

If we are essentially a mistake, flawed and defective, then there's nothing we can do about it.

Everyone needs a sense of shame, but no one needs to feel ashamed. —Frederick Nietzsche

The Bible suggests that Adam was not satisfied with his own being. He wanted to be more than he was. He wanted to be more than human. He failed to accept his essential limitations. He lost his healthy shame. The Bible suggests that the origin of human bondage (original sin) is the desire to be other than who we are . . . to be more than human. In his toxic shame (pride), Adam wanted a false self. The false self led to his destruction.

The frustration of a child's desire to be loved as a person and to have his love accepted is the greatest trauma that a child can experience.

Total self-love and acceptance is the only foundation for happiness and the love of others.

the plight of being old: clearly recalling what it was like to act voluntarily and enjoy life as it came, now trapped in a frame that forbade anything except slow cautious movements

They are my fears of him, too. But who can hinder that which will be?

They hold on to their beliefs, even though all other men oppose them. But I'm for religion that is tolerant of the times and not a threat to my safety. They are for Religion when he dresses in rags and is considered contemptible. But I am for him when he walks in his silver slippers, in the sunshine, and with applause." Mr.

lo que Él hizo en obediencia a la ley de su Padre, y al someterse al castigo de ella, no fue para sí mismo sino para aquel que lo acepta para su salvación, y es agradecido.

Wherefore, sinner, here is laid a necessity upon thee, one of the two must be thy lot; either thou must accept God's grace, and be content to be saved freely thereby, notwithstanding all thy undeserving and unworthiness, or else thou must be damned for thy rebellion and for thy rejecting of this grace

O! what did I now see in that blessed sixth of John: And him that cometh to me, I will in no wise cast out.  John vi. 37.  Now I began to consider with myself, that God hath a bigger mouth to speak with, than I had a heart to conceive with; I thought also with myself, that He spake not His words in haste, or in an unadvised heat, but with infinite wisdom and judgment, and in very truth and faithfulness.  2 Sam. iii. 28.

There are heroes, and there are the rest of us. There comes a time when you just let go the ghost of the better person you might have been.