Quotes About Irony

I am going to-morrow where I shall find a man who has not one agreeable quality, who has neither manner nor sense to recommend him. Stupid men are the only ones worth knowing, after all.

My dear Mr. Bennet, replied his wife, how can you be so tiresome! You must know that I am thinking of his marrying one of them.

Certainly silly things do cease to be silly if they are done by sensible people in an impudent way.

Bueno, querida —dijo el señor Bennet, cuando Elizabeth leyó la misiva en voz alta—, si tu hija enferma gravemente, si acaba muriendo, será un consuelo saber que todo fue para pescar al señor Bingley, y siguiendo tus órdenes

Emma - faultless, in spite of her faults

Both the bride and the groom have the privilege of at least fifteen minutes in which to contemplate what a sick, sick, fucking, Christ-awful thing getting married is. That's what the book says — or words to that effect.

Suppose I lay down on the pavement and you run over me a few times with my own car...just for old times.

Howie's doctor told him to lose ten pounds, and since Howie's been on a diet he's gained three.

That's just terrible. Obviously the woman needed a cannoli. I don't know what this world's coming to when you get arrested for needing a cannoli.

Dancing hotdogs don't say shit.

My son never eats baloney. He says the stuff in baloney will kill you. I say when? I've got cataracts, high blood pressure, enlarged prostate, skin cancer, hemorrhoids, an artificial hip, false teeth, and gas. Every day I take eleven different pills and a stool softener. And now I'm supposed to worry about baloney.

I don't want to be the center of attention, which is ironic. I hate having all eyes on me - unless it's for my job, and my job is playing football. I'm not that attention-hungry.

It would be really hard to get serious about anything political today unless it was a joke.

That so unlikely an outcome should accrue to a man possessed of such limited talent and so many flaws, and one lacking in a sense of ethics and decency was one of the bitter ironies of history.

That is the job of a comedian: To take unpleasant subject matter and forcibly, with his hands, wring the funny out of it.

No good deed goes unpunished.

No good deed goes unpunished. I missed the moon landing by being nice to a stranger.

In Chekhov, everything blends into its opposite, just fractionally, and this is sort of unsettling. And that's why you end up 100 years later asking, 'Is that moment tragic or comic?'

Even for natives, French satire is rarely laugh-out-loud funny. Its unspoken punch line is typically that things have gone irrevocably wrong, and the government is to blame.

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone.

I like to have my characters talking in an up-to-date way, and I like their essentially modern self-awareness, which means we can have lots of irony and jokes.

The tombstone is about the only thing that can stand upright and lie on its face at the same time.

What makes me laugh is, of course, the absurd, the horror - anything that upsets me.

When you see things upside down, the ego can be extraordinarily funny; it's absurd. But it's tragic at the same time.