Quotes About Irony

There is nothing that is so serious that you can't also see its comic side. Comedy is a way of talking about the most serious things.

Nobody talks so constantly about God as those who insist that there is no God.

You're quite the humanitarian. By the way, thanks a fuck of a lot for leaving me off your who-to-save list. You're on it, Alfredo Garcia. I just didn't want to say it out loud and have you call me Nancy or Tinker Bell. Yeah, I would have done that.

Maybe he was destined to die under the fading shadow of a plastic dinosaur surrounded by pickpockets, hookers, and panhandlers, but at least he'd never been to Mississippi.

Proximity to normalcy is a nice turn of phrase; you ought do a needlepoint, frame it and shove it straight up your ass. Keep it there with the rest of your wisdom.

If cell phones came with a cigarette dispenser, they'd be the greatest stupid invention ever.

Ignore him. He thinks the Last Supper was nachos and Twinkies.

If Jesus, Jesse James, and a herd of pink robot unicorns strolled in walking on water, this bunch wouldn't even look up.

Here's to all the guys better looking than us. May they all die first.

Traven walks away as a stream of havoc members come by to pat me on the back, punch my arm, and shake my hand. I smile and nod like it's the Oscars and I just won Best Supporting Asshole.

But that is how it is in the world—the wise are hung and the fools are glorified, at least while they are living.

A man walks into a bar and says: Take my wife–please. But you take him instead.

The great ironist quite unironically boiled "American" down to liberal and reduced the Republicans to a lazy betrayal and a policy of drift that allowed too many of the policies put in place during the war to endure and the problems that arose in the wake of war to fester.

All the best, Sydney P.S. "The Red Hurricane" is what I named the car. P.P.S. Just because I like you, it doesn't mean I still don't think you're an evil creature of the night. You are.

Mmm. O positive, my favorite." "Is it? I thought it was a cabernet sauvignon." "So it is," said Adrian, straight-faced. "My mistake.

Oh," he said, knocking a red ball into a hole. "It's you." "You were expecting someone else?" I asked. "Am I interrupting your social calender?" I made a big show of glancing around the empty room. "I don't want to keep you from the mob of fans beating down your door." "Hey, a guy can hope. I mean, it's not impossible that a car full of scantily clad sorority girls might break down outside and need my help.

What kind of sick bastard burns down a Christmas tree?" Hugh and I exchanged glances. "That's an excellent question," I said dryly. Peter looked startled. "Was it you?" he asked Hugh. "No," said the imp. "It was Carter." "Your Christmas tree was burned down by an angel?" asked Cody. "Yup. The irony isn't lost on me

Oh," she said. "You can rest assured that I will kill him. Mostly this is to emphasize what I said before: no more time to lounge around and decide with no consequences. For every moment you waste deliberating today, the Oak King will be in the hands of my torturers, experiencing the most excruciating pain. Your delay extends that agony." "Oh, irony," murmured Dorian.

I couldn't remember the cats' names any better than the dogs'. Four of them were named after the Horsemen of the Apocalypse, and all I could really recall was that Famine ironically weighed about thirty pounds.

It was another horrible yet almost laughable moment. Cupcakes and birthday car sex had been my undoing.

No good deed goes unpunished, I guess.

All this overt heterosexuality amused me. If only they knew.

God forbid that I should ever be a good influence on anybody.

I pity the poverty of your wealth.