Quotes About Entertainment

Bribes and boy bands. That's all you need to be a babysitter.

How is your love life, Minz?" she would ask hungrily, hoping to be entertained by raunchy details. I had none. "Um, you know. So hard to meet guys," I answered vaguely, hoping my lack of a sex life would seem mysterious and not pathetic.

I want a guy who wants to curl up on a Friday night and watch Netflix. He can even pick the show. I mean, ideally, it's serialized and female-driven,

When I pick songs for karaoke, I have three concerns: (1) What will this song say about me? (2) How will I sound singing it? and (3) How will it make people feel?

The problem was I didn't want just anyone's company. I wanted the company of funny, smart, like-minded people. That's when I realized something about myself: I would rather be lonely than bored.

I want you to picture me as a cute little anime character that popped out from behind a mushroom or something and landed in Hollywood.

B.J. and I watched Lost on his portable DVD player, which is just about the most 2007 thing you can do.

I enter the party with my heart racing, scrambling to find the nearest bar, and ultimately wind up talking for hours to the teenage daughters of the host, who love The Office. After answering all the girls' questions about John Krasinski, I say I need to use the restroom, secretly exit through the back, and sprint to my car, never to be heard from again.

And that's all show business is, really. Transitioning panics.

No, that is boring. If people want to see medical stuff they should watch ER.

one got the other hooked on Breaking Bad and if either watches it without the other, they're dead meat.

I like to think of myself as the Rod Blagojevich of television.

I want to hear that you guys watch every episode of The Bachelorette together in secret shame, or that one got the other hooked on Breaking Bad and if either watches it without the other, they're dead meat. I want to see you guys high-five each other like teammates on a recreational softball team you both do for fun.

Full-on All-Night Sex-a-thon is also the name of my debut hip-hop album.

I knew that the best way to get out of chores, or sports, or talking to elderly relatives on the phone was by holding up a book and saying, "But I'm just enjoying Little House on the Prairie so much!

While I chewed on my eleven brioche rolls, I saw the likes of Gen. David Petraeus, Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand, and that guy from Magic Mike, who also played a hot werewolf and was supposed to have a huge wang. It was an extremely glamorous night.

I didn't want to be Regis or Kathie Lee, because their chairs were too high. I'm sorry, I'm supposed to sit like that for an hour? Too much blood rushing to my ankles. No, thanks.

time-wasting dominoes

I would love to have Snoop Dogg waiting in my office in a cupcake-print suit to tell all my problems to. Wouldn't we all?

And it kind of behooves you to pick a short song. I don't care if Don freakin' McLean shows up in a red-white-and-blue tuxedo, no one is allowed to sing "American Pie." It's actually kind of hostile to a group of partiers to pick a song longer than three minutes.

In England, with all due respect, we have some of the plainest actresses in the entire world as our greatest.

I have a weird sense of humour. My dad's the same. We love watching 'Monty Python' together.

kad je ve? cirkus, neka svijet i vidi cirkus!

All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me.