Quotes About Relationships

College guys are different. They're looking for quality.

Sometimes it's nice to have a man around the house. But a dog will clean the dishes.

Dating is like nightfall--there's got to be a mourning after.

Women have to be in the mood for sex. Men have to be breathing.

Dating--the socially accepted alternative to the rack.

Some people say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. In actuality, you have to make an incision through his skin, both dermis and epidermis, then carefully sever and separate the sternum. Only upon viewing the exposed thoracic cavity can you reach the heart--if indeed the male of the species actually possesses such an organ.

You really don't know a person until you spend some time in their panties.

If it looks like a cat, walks like a cat, and has whiskers like a cat, it's probably a damn cat. But if it eats your groceries, messes up your kitchen, and makes you want to rip out your hair by the roots, you either married it or gave birth to it

You lose a couple of pounds and get a guy good and drunk, you could have a hell of a good time even if you are not smart.

They say love makes the world go around… I been dizzy for a long time.

You don't need to be smarter; you just need dumber friends.

I don't care what Cosmo says about exercise improving sex. Some things aren't worth the cost.

It's not who you know, it's who you sleep with.

You can't choose your family. Can't shoot 'em either.

A woman needs a man like a tuba needs a cucumber.

Life is what you make it. Unless some guy finds you with his girl. Then the ball's pretty much in his court.

In 50 years it won't matter if he's handsome, ugly, or dumb as a post, just try to find someone who don't make you want to shove a pitchfork up his nose.

In this town, a successful marriage is one that lasts longer than ice.

Gabe?" The newchild stirred slightly in his sleep. Jonas looked over at him. "There could be love", Jonas whispered.

The principle difference between heaven and hell is the company you keep there.

I'm sorry. I can love you. I can grieve for you, or with you. I can share your pain. But I cannot judge you.

Marriage was a lottery, and you drew your lot in late adolescence or early adulthood at a point of maximum idiocy and confusion.

Adversity does teach who your real friends are.

My home is not a place, it is people.