Quotes About Relationships

Unrealistic expectations are things the other person isn't able or willing to do for me. I have to let go of these.

Relationships were reduced to attempts at managing what I feared about them rather than enjoying what I loved about them.

Isn't it funny that when we get married it's called "tying the knot"? For us, this wasn't just an act at the altar.2 It's something we have to do over and over again.

Giving with strings of secret expectations attached is the greatest invitation to heartbreak. That's not love. That's manipulation.

Healthy relationships don't feel threatening. Loving relationships don't feel cruel. Secure relationships don't feel as if everything could implode if you dared to draw a boundary.

We must respect ourselves enough to break the pattern of placing unrealistic expectations on others. After all, people will not respect us more than we respect ourselves. No, it's not wrong to need people. But some of our biggest disappointments in life are the result of expectations we have of others that they can't ever possibly meet.

A girl without a daddy felt to me like a girl without a place in this world. After all, if he couldn't love me, who would ever love me?

If we are living honest lives that honor God, we must not forget that people not liking our boundary does not mean we aren't living right before God. We mustn't let unhealthy people control us or have too much access to our hearts so that their negative opinion shakes us. God's is the only opinion that matters!

I have to remember that giving honor reveals more about my character than the character of the other person.

God calls us to obey Him. God does not call us to obey every wish and whim of other people. God calls us to love other people. God does not call us to demand that they love us back and meet every need we have.

People do affect us. But the peace of our souls is tethered to all that God is.

But we can't enable bad behavior in ourselves and others and call it love. We can't tolerate destructive patterns and call it love. And we can't pride ourselves on being loyal and longsuffering in our relationships when it's really perpetuating violations of what God says love is.

And the gaping hole left behind is in some ways worse than death. If their absence was caused by death, you would grieve their loss. But when their absence is caused by rejection, you not only grieve their loss but you also have to wrestle through the fact that they wanted this.

Remember all the work you've done to draw boundaries was not about controlling someone else's behavior. It's about paying attention ad being hones about how someone's poor behavior and lack of responsibility is possibly controlling you. And when people close to us are acting out of control, that's when we run the greater risk of lacking self-control. When a relationship shifts from being difficult to being destructive, it's the right time to consider a goodbye.

Tackle issues not people. Am I trying to prove my point or improve the relationship?

Proximity and activity don't always equal connectivity.

If we want recovery and healing we would be wise to take a break or possibly make a clean break from the one wounding us.

A note from Jim on goodbyes: There's a big difference between waiting for a breaking point and establishing a breaking point. A goodbye shouldn't sneak up on us because if we set boundaries with consequences, breaking points are established ahead of time. As boundary violations occur there will be changes in the relationship so that you can protect yourself from hurtful patterns and behaviors that you are no longer willing to tolerate.

People in everyday life can sniff out the neediness of a performer trying to earn love.

We need to keep a gauge on our hearts so we can process, clarify, and understand our lives and relationships more deeply.

packages of perfection; relationships come in packages of potential.

Finally, if some situations or relationships feed our insecurities, maybe we need to take a break from them for a season.

meant to shove love away. Quite the opposite. We set boundaries so we know what to do when we very much want to love those around us really well without losing ourselves in the process. Good boundaries help us preserve the love within us even when some relationships become unsustainable and we must accept the reality of a goodbye.

No, it's not wrong to need people. But some of our biggest disappointments in life are the result of expectations we have of others that they can't ever possibly meet. That's when the desire to connect becomes an unrealistic need. Unrealistic neediness is actually greediness in disguise. It's saying, "My needs and desires deserve to tap into or possibly even deplete yours." This will never set a relationship up for success.