Quotes About Relationships

Contrary to what you may think, the legal system was neither founded upon nor designed to reflect the common decency found in normal human relationships. It primarily works like the rules for a lunatic asylum. It tries to govern people driven insane by the inflated idea of their own worth.

When we feel unsafe with someone and still stay with him, we damage our ability to discern trustworthiness in those we will meet in the future.

The more invested I am in my own ideas about reality, the more those experiences will feel like victimizations rather than the ups and downs of relating. Actually, I believe that the less I conceptualize things that way, the more likely it is that people will want to stay by me, because they will not feel burdened, consciously or unconsciously, by my projections, judgments, entitlements, or unrealistic expectations.

Our higher needs include making full use of our gifts, finding and fulfilling our calling, being loved and cherished just for ourselves, and being in relationships that honor all of these. Such needs are fulfilled in an atmosphere of the five A's by which love is shown: attention, acceptance, appreciation, affection, and allowing.

We can actually reconstruct our past by examining what we think, say, feel, expect, believe, and do in an intimate relationship now.

Real love does not come off the rack; it is uniquely tailored by the lover to the beloved. Part of the pain of letting go of someone who really loved you is letting go of being loved in that special way.

The biggest mistake we humans make is to become attached to someone's being a certain way and then to think that will never change.

spirituality. In healthy intimate relationships we do not seek more than 25 percent of our nurturance from a partner; we learn to find the rest within ourselves.

Once we love ourselves, people no longer look good to us unless they are good for us.

Most people in relationships seldom know what they really want, ask for what they really want, or show what they really feel. Most people avoid or fear intimacy, consistent

Though most of us want to move on from our past, we tend to go through our lives simply casting new people into the roles of key people, such as our parents or any significant person with whom there is still unfinished business.

Love is experienced differently by each of us, but for most of us five aspects of love stand out. We feel loved when we receive attention, acceptance, appreciation, and affection, and when we are allowed the freedom to live in accord with our own deepest needs and wishes.

A lack of love means not receiving the five A's of adult love: attention, acceptance, appreciation, affection, and allowing us to be ourselves.

Wise adults begin relationships not with the romance phase but with an investigation phase. We check out the other, looking to see if he or she is trustworthy, has the ability to give the five A's, and possesses the qualities that are important to us. Only when we are secure in the knowledge that the other is trustworthy do we open ourselves to letting love happen.

While certain partners may hurt us, they cannot undo the abiding trust that we continue to carry so steadfastly toward the human world. We become able to hold others with a relaxed grasp, not compulsively or coercively as if we needed to hold on for dear life. Buddhist writer Stephen T. Butterfield wrote, "Since no relationship can be made entirely safe and secure . . . this has to mean trust in one's own ability to use any consequence, including betrayal, as a means for waking up.

The perfect partner is the mirage we see after crossing the desert of insufficient love.

His moods changed minute to minute, and Jan could change him quicker than anyone. The more he loved her the more mixed up he got. He was such a beautiful man, but so unstable.

To handle yourself, use your head; to handle others, use your heart." — ELEANOR ROOSEVELT

I am convinced that material things can contribute a lot to making one's life pleasant, but, basically, if you do not have very good friends and relatives who matter to you, life will be really empty and sad and material things cease to be important.

I like dogs considerably more than I like humans. That doesn't make me antihuman; there are plenty of humans I'm very fond of. But generally speaking, if I simultaneously meet a new human and a new dog, I'm going to like the dog more. I'm certainly going to trust the dog more.

I suppose the best way to understand it is that when I first see a person, I see the face. But when I first see a dog, I see the dog.

The only thing better than taking a walk, just Tara and me, is taking a walk, Tara, Laurie, and me. They are my two loves, and living under the same roof as them, and sharing walks with them, make every day the best one of my life. The only obvious exceptions to that are the two days that the Giants beat the Patriots in the Super Bowls.

Some of my least favorite people are my cousins," Zuberi sniffed, not untruthfully. "Well, then, that should make it easier for me not to disappoint you.

The specter of sexual intimacy made it rare for women to participate in this male bonding.