Quotes About News

News reports stand up as people, and people wither into editorials. Clichés walk around on two legs while men are having theirs shot off.

Millions of people are married. I've never picked up a paper and seen a headline that says, "Man Gets Married!"

I see by the papers that they are going to do away with all the nuisance taxes. That means that a man can get a marriage license for nothing.

New Jersey Mayor Corey Booker last night personally rescued a woman from a burning building. Or as Fox News reported it, 'black man loots house, steals white woman.'

Journalists say that when a dog bites a man, that is not news, but when a man bites a dog, that is news ... Thanks to the mathematics of combinatorics, we will never run out of news.

The man who accused Richard Simmons of slapping him in an airport has dropped the assault charge. Dropped it! Upon hearing the news, Simmons sadly responded, "You mean I'm not going to prison?"

What's wan man's news is another man's throubles.

It's been said that no man is a hero to a newspaperman, and I spent too many years as an ink-stained wretch.

Fools make news, and wise men carry it.

I hear the headlines on the radio, see them on TV and read them in the paper. When I hear from the men out there, I sometimes don't believe they are talking about the same situation.

This was the story of Howard Beale: The first known instance of a man who was killed because he had lousy ratings.

Maybe I'm wrong," Mom said. "Maybe the world really is coming to an end." "Should I try Fox News?" I asked. Mom shuddered. "We're not that desperate," she said.

The function of the press in society is to inform, but its role in society is to make money.

My reaction to your news is delighted astonishment that Lanark has been judged more popular than a book by Ian Rankin, and only regret that this wonderful honour had no money attached to it!

Every morning is good news, every child that is born is good news, every just man is good news, every singer is good news, because every singer is one less soldier.

Homer is new this morning, and perhaps nothing is as old as today's newspaper.

For years I have read the morning paper and harrumphed. There's a lot to harrumph about now.

You can find good reasons to scuttle your equities in every morning paper and on every broadcast of the nightly news.

It's superb, definitely. Something that is new to me, that is shocking. I got the news last night about 3 in the morning, and I don't think I even went back to bed.

The News-writer lies down at Night in great Tranquillity, upon a piece of News which corrupts before Morning, and which he is obliged to throw away as soon as he awakes.

My doctors told me this morning my blood pressure is down so low that I can start reading the newspapers.

The perception is that more important people watch news in the evenings than in the mornings.

News as wholesome as the morning air.

Tell me I'm a sinner I got news for you I spoke to God this morning and he don't like you! Don't you try and teach me no original sin; I don't need your pity for the shape I'm in