Quotes About Comedy

America has gone from the Obama Years to the Trump Years, like going from the 'West Wing' to a sitcom where the incidental music involves a tuba.

What crushed my soul was hanging out with bitter, desperate comics backstage. They're a different breed than the bitter yet eager psyches in the wings of an improv theatre. Struggling stand-ups have externalized self-loathing into an art form. They're a hunching, quaking, unshaven lot.

So I think all comedians are earning their wings into heaven. We're all going to heaven, but everybody's not going to get their wings. Some people are just going to be regular angels. Doing cleanup, janitor work. In heaven, I'm going to sit on the couch with Oprah.

Presenting the Oscars was the most nerve-racking job I have ever done in show business. It's very much a live show: they have comedy writers waiting in the wings, and as you come off between presentations, they hand you an appropriate gag to tell.

Let's face it, I'm not winning a fight with anybody - unless it's against someone like Larry David.

I did a gig at a comedy club in Bournemouth where they served a buffet while the acts were on. There was the clang of people carving turkey during the set. If you put comedy and turkey side by side, turkey always wins.

Texas humor and Southern humor are pretty similar.

I love Dallas, Austin and Houston. Why? Because some of the best comedians, like Bill Hicks and Sam Kinison, started their careers in Texas, and because the crowds there are comedy-educated.

I'm from Texas. You would think my biggest draw would be in that state. But my biggest draw is Pennsylvania.

I want to do all kinds of things. I want to do some comedy. I'd love to do a romantic comedy, and I'd love to do some period pieces with classical text. I'd love somebody to cast me as Macbeth, but for a film. I just want to be all over the place.

I plan someday to do a one-man show based solely on the e-mails of Bellamy Young. And people will think I've written a brilliant comedy myself when, in fact, all the text will be directly from Bellamy.

If you look at me close enough, there's a small resemblance to a chicken nugget. I don't know if it's my skin texture or my hair, but the resemblance is definitely there.

My experience - and it might be just the kind of comedy that I do, which is usually sketch comedy - is that there's a lot more texture and subplot in drama than in comedy.

I think I went through puberty really late in life or something. I always looked like a little, sad Thai boy up until I was 26.

Carrot Top... I gave him advice once and he ran with it. He should thank me.

I always say, 'Thank goodness 'Wimpy Kid' was a comedy because my singing in that was more humorous than professional.'

To play the leading man in a 'Three Stooges' movie, you've got to think funny. Thank God I think funny.

I always say, when you're onstage you can't please everybody. I'm sure there are people who may not take to what I do, but that's okay. Thank God the majority are in my corner.

My family sits around and tells all these amazing stories of pirates and the wa. Then one day I'm having a beer after shooting an episode of 'Thank God You're Here,' and started telling Dave Hughes some stories, and he said, 'You've gotta turn this into a book.'

People come up to me and they thank me: 'I thank you for the many, many hours of laughter.'

I'm really thankful for my improv background.

I think the challenge is going out in front of a paying audience with absolutely nothing and trying to entertain them for two hours. Thankfully, I only think about that right before we go on, and then once we're out there, everything's fine.

I had always fancied a go at the comedy and when it started to go reasonably well and the opportunity arose for me to move into it full time, I just couldn't turn it down. I just took the risk, and I just wanted to see if it would work and thankfully it did.

I refused David Letterman's proposal of marriage for obvious reasons, but thanks for asking.