Quotes About Comedy

What a strange world this would be if we all had the same sense of humor.

The man with the real sense of humor is the man who can put himself in the spectator's place and laugh at his own misfortune.

É recomendável pendurar na sala alguns cartazes com frases como: "NÃO FAÇAM ESSAS CARAS TÃO ROMANTICAS." Indicação de Bertold Brecht para a comédia Tambores na Noite.

Humorlose Leute sind lächerlich.

That plant needs a diaper,

I like bawdy humor. I love bawdy humor, but not dirty humor.

When I first heard about the campaign to get me to host Saturday Night Live, I didn't know what Facebook was. And now that I do know what it is, I have to say, it sounds like a huge waste of time!

I kid around a lot, but pranks are not my best strength!

Well, I mean, if a joke or humor is bawdy, it's got to be funny enough to warrant it. You can't just have it bawdy or dirty just for the sake of being that - it's got to be funny.

Humor's the hardest thing to translate.

I don't just try to be funny.

He had the sort of face that makes you realize God does have a sense of humor.

What Jay knew from his own endless stand-up gigs was that if lights were shining on an audience, they tended to become selfconscious—and a lot less likely to laugh

As parents, my wife and I have one thing in common. We're both afraid of children.

He is so old that his blood type was discontinued.

I'm here to kill the deer, She wants to take it shoppin.

its a dork fish

It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious.

This is the material, by the way, that has kept me virtually anonymous in America for the past 15 years. Gee, I wonder why we're hated the world over? Look at these fat Americans in the front row - 'Why doesn't he just hit fruit with a hammer?' Folks, I could have done that, walked around being a millionaire and franchising myself but no, I had to have this weird thing about trying to illuminate the collective unconscious and help humanity. Fucking moron.

On the theft of his material by Denis Leary: "I have a scoop for you. I stole his act. I camouflaged it with punchlines, and to really throw people off, I did it before he did.

It's great to be here. I thank you. Ah, I've been on the road doing comedy for ten years now, so bear with me while I plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time.

The best kind of comedy to me is when you make people laugh at things they've never laughed at, and also take a light into the darkened corners of people's minds, exposing them to the light.

New Rule: Gay marriage won't lead to dog marriage. It is not a slippery slope to rampant inter-species coupling. When women got the right to vote, it didn't lead to hamsters voting. No court has extended the equal protection clause to salmon. And for the record, all marriages are "same sex" marriages. You get married, and every night, it's the same sex.

I wouldn't touch a hot dog unless you put a condom on it! You realize that the job of a hot dog is to use parts of the animal that the Chinese can't figure out how to make into a belt? -timecode 1:11:10