Quotes About Comedy

Really, I just love doing comedy. Any form it takes is great, as long as I can keep doing it, you know? If I can do my show and 'The League' while also getting to do other bits, that's awesome.

You have a little brother, she reminded him. I know, answered Yard Ape, but we just keep him for a pet.

The waitress, seeing how much I had left, asked me if I wanted a doggie bag. 'No thank you,' I said through a thin smile, 'I don't believe I could find a dog that would eat it.

Romans park their cars the way I would park if I had just spilled a beaker of hydrochloric acid on my lap.

To make matters worse, somebody in our group was making the most dreadful silent farts. Fortunately, it was me, so I wasn't nearly as bothered as the others.

Clayton had a number of troubles but his greatest one was his trousers.

That boy's so dumb he couldn't pour piss out of a boot if the directions were on the bottom.

Zip zop wop boopity bop.

you know... there is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time.... husband!!!

New Rule: If you're one of the one-in-three married women who say your pet is a better listener than your husband, you talk too much. And I have some bad news for you: Your dog's not listening, either; he's waiting for food to fall out of your mouth.

And, corny as it may sound, I do cherish the bond between me and the audience, the minority that follows my stuff and always makes me glad it's us against the world.

Miss Wormwood: Calvin, your test was an absolute disgrace! It's obvious you haven't read any of the material. Our first president was not Chef Boy-Ar-Dee and you ought to be ashamed to have turned in such preposterous answers! Calvin: I just don't test well.

Hey Susie Derkins, is that your face, or is a 'possum stuck in your collar?

They say the world is a stage. But obviously the play is unrehearsed and everybody is ad-libbing his lines. Maybe that's why it's hard to tell if we're living in a tragedy or a farce. We need more special effects and dance numbers.

Virtual reality has nothing on Calvin.

It's a funny world, Hobbes. True. But it's not a hilarious world.…unless you like sick humour. The world is probably funnier to people who don't live here.

Of course, REAL zombies never get the giggles when they look at each other...

CALVIN: Look, Hobbes, I got a magic carpet. HOBBES: What's so magic about it? CALVIN: Magic carpets FLY! You can ride them. HOBBES: Isn't this the rug from the hallway? CALVIN: Up, Rug! Up! Up! CALVIN: Hey, Look! It works! Ok, rug, warp factor five. HOBBES: Is this legal? Do you have your registration and proof of insurance?

Ultimul act e sângeros; oricât de frumoas? ar fi comedia în rest; ni se arunc? p?mânt în cap ÅŸi cu asta se încheie totul pentru totdeauna.

I love America and I hate it. I'm torn between the two. I have two conflicting visions of America. One is a kind of dream landscape and the other is a kind of black comedy.

It occurred to her that when people were drunk they always tried to impersonate drunkards, and the drunker they were the more they overacted.

I know that humour can take on anything.

you should learn that life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think.

For Golden it was hard not to think that there might be something wrong about a household in which the dog was wearing underwear and the children weren't.