Quotes About Comedy

I think a lot comes from having the experience of doing stand-up comedy. It allows you to figure out the psychology of an audience what things are funny and not.

Simon: Anyone ever tell you your sense of timing really sucks? Derek: That's why I don't play the drums. Now what's up?

(On his marathon live shows) You think you can get away, but you can't. I'll follow you home and I'll shout jokes through your letterbox.

Comedy should never be over-analysed. It's either funny or it isn't. There's a subtle difference between those who say funny things and those who say things funny.

Do I believe in safe sex? Of course I do. I have a handrail around the bed.

How do you make a blonde laugh on a Sunday? Tell her a joke on a Wednesday.

How many men does it take to change a toilet roll? Nobody knows – it's never been done before.

My act is very educational. I heard a man leaving the other night, saying: 'Well, that taught me a lesson.

So it turns out that if you bang two halves of a horse together, it doesn't make the sound of a coconut.

I thought I became a comedian because I loved comedy and I liked making people laugh. But I became a comedian because by the time I was 23, I was so walled-off and f*cked-up that doing stand-up was the easiest way to go into a room full of strangers and make them like me so that no one would hurt me. I was onstage with the mindset of a 6-year-old from 23 to about 37.

I do not really think Charlie knows much more about politics, history, or economics than I do. Like myself he was hit by a make-up towel almost before he was out of diapers.

I actually feel like, for a lot of my career, I wasn't able to show my comedic range. I did a lot of dramas and dramedies. I was on 'E.R.' That's not generally thought of as a funny show.

The most perfect humour and irony is generally quite unconscious.

Spalding Smails This is good stuff. I got it from a Negro. You're probably high already and you don't even know it.

We all know funny people who can't get it down on the page - even funny writers who can't get it down on the page.

There's always a source for humor.

If it's inappropriate to write about, if there's nothing funny about it, then it's not funny.

I actually think of being funny as an odd turn of mind, like a mild disability, some weird way of looking at the world that you can't get rid of.

Laughter is the genuine form of applause.

I love physical kinds of comedy and getting down and dirty and doing stunts. When I was growing up, I was always getting into fights with guys and usually punching out boys my age because I was a lot bigger and tougher. So I'm naturally accustomed to putting myself into the headspace of a girl who can take care of herself.

Check her out. She"s fuckin" hot." "Wedding band," I say. "She sings in one?" "No, jackass. She's wearing one.

Humor can be an incredible, lacerating and effective weapon.

My humour has always come from anger, but I have to make sure I don't just get angry and jump on a soapbox.

I've always enjoyed making people laugh. But in order for me to be funny, I have to get ticked off about something.