Quotes About Comedy

I was going to start off tonight with an Obama joke but I don't want to get audited by the IRS.

I'm a comic because I don't want to do the nine-to-five, I have to modify that and say I'm a comic because I have an inability to do a nine-to-five.

My wife is like, You finally get your own TV show, you can have any kind of car you want and you get a darned truck. But my brother and I have the same kind of truck now.

I'm a weirdo that goes on stage to make strangers laugh, but if I wasn't working, I would just want to be with my wife and kids. I don't even think I'd want to go out to dinner.

You could say that to the pope. I want to talk to you about Jesus. He'd be like, easy, freak.

I personally have no interest in being a star or a celebrity. I want my stand-up comedy and how I think as a comedian to be recognized and successful.

I'm on so late I'm definitely the last seconds of anyone's attention. So I just want to give them something dumb to laugh at, so they go, 'That's funny,' then fall asleep.

Honestly, I just want to keep people awake. Or at least give you one joke to go to bed with.

It's such a great feeling to make people laugh. I know I've made people cry or want to slit their wrists, but to make people laugh is a very intoxicating, wonderful thing.

If people want to see me in comedies, that's fine with me.

I think there are certain subjects I don't want to tackle, that I don't think I could do a good job with. I don't think I'd be good with... broad comedy? I don't know. Maybe I would.

I did the bible as told through Hispanic people and they laughed and applauded. I thought, "Oh my god, this is what I want to do for the rest of my life."

Woody is the guy who made me want to be a comic. I was in heaven and couldn't stop smiling because he was my idle and 29 years after seeing Take the Money and Run, I was working for him.

I said I kicked a French chicken in the stomach once." "Huh?" "It said, 'Oeuf.'" "What is that?" "It's a joke. Do you want to hear another, or have you already had un oeuf?

I have to make good things so good comedians want to talk to me.

Music is like comedy in that you can enjoy a very - for want of abetter word - sophisticated classical piece as much as you enjoy something that's very simple pop.

When I'm going to see a comedian, I don't want to see them hold back, and when I'm reading a book, I don't want to hear an abridged version.

I don't have to change anything. I think that's the secret to comedy. You want to be universal and appeal to everyone.

Stand-up comedy is mine: it's my entity; it's my brand; I own it. I do it when I want to do it.

I have deep comedic roots, and I want to be funny.

Write a smart joke and people want to talk about it and keep the dialogue going. Also, if you can make someone laugh, it's a pronouncement that they like you on some level.

I really like doing television shows, and I anticipated doing a comedy, because thats the place I feel the most comfortable - those are the risks I want to take.

I just had a throwaway part, really, if you think about it. I'm not a natural actor, you know? I'm a comedian, through and through. And I really love my lines. Those are the lines I want to do.

You don't look down at your feet. A lot of comedians want to look down at their feet, but you break contact with the audience.