Quotes About Comedy

On her son Rene: Oh my God, when he's 20 years old what's going to happen to me? I'm gonna marry him.

I find painting a much slower process than comedy, where you can go a mile a minute verbally and hope to God that some of the people out there understand you.

I have the gift of laughter. I can make people laugh at will. In good times and in bad. And that I don't question. It was a gift from God.

I'm a comedian, for God's sake. Viewers shouldn't trust me. And you know what? They're hip enough to know they shouldn't trust me. I'm just doing stand-up comedy.

Oh my God, I could watch Jennifer Coolidge for hours.

I believe I am God's favorite comedian. I think he is a really big comedy writer. He writes scripts. And I just follow along.

Oh, my God! It's a killer Pomeranian." I glanced up at Derek. "It's a tough call, but I think you can take him.

I discovered the wife's got asthma. Thank God - I thought she was hissing at me.

Sometimes, as a comedian, a line will come to you, that is so beautiful, so perfect, that you think: I did not create this line. This line belongs to all of us. Surely this is a line of God

Comedy is frightening at first because you're opening yourself up. When it's just you and people hate it, you're like, "Oh God. Do they hate me?"

He had the sort of face that makes you realize God does have a sense of humor.

The makeup person said oh my God what happened to you? I looked like I was in a car accident.

I used to see Jim [Carrey] in comedy clubs and tell him 'This isn't going to get you anywhere. What you're good at is that nice Jimmy Stewart stuff.' Thank God he never listened.

God, that Anthony Jeselnik Show sounds really funny.

Down deep in His heart God is a comedian who loves to make us laugh.

The camera guys can't mess up. God bless them, they hardly ever do. But they literally don't know what's going to happen next. None of us do. And it all has to come together and be funny.

I bring up God alot in my show, know why? Because I miss him.

I think that 'Hangover II' is as funny as 'The Hangover I,' honest to God, but I think that it's a little bit darker, and the stakes are a little bit higher.

I can make people laugh at the drop of a dime. God's given me that ability.

I have some speakers up here, thank God, because last night I didn't have them and I was telling jokes and I had no idea which joke I was telling. So I told jokes twice. I even told that one twice.

I remember Tucker Toomey was named so because "T's are funny!" And if Garry Marshall says it's funny, by god, it must be so.

Dinner Special - Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00

Everything's funny for God's sake. Everything.

When it comes to comedy, they always say, "Jackée, whatever comes to your mind." But heaven forbid I can't think of something. It's never happened yet, thank God. I may knock on wood.