Quotes About Self-awareness

I thought it best, finally, to start seeing where I've been rather than where I'm going.

Despite the fact that our failed developmental history was our parents' "fault," each of us has the ultimate responsibility for our own life. Those of us who have been victimized by indifference, neglect, or abuse are responsible for the rest of our lives. We must work to understand our histories, to separate as best as we can from those who have hurt us, and to pursue gratifying relationships in the future.

When they no longer need parental support, they also no longer need the defense mechanisms that blinded them (in order to keep them feeling secure) to their parents' failings.

we all must reach to free ourselves from the bondage of our illusions and defenses.

it is the essential and self-preserving act that must be taken if we intend to lead a better life. This bold and courageous step can only occur after we conquer our defensive illusions—both about our parents and about ourselves.

Whatever people say you are, that is what you're not.

Socrates had it backward. He thought the unexamined life is not worth living. I think no one's life holds up to examination. The more time you spend thinking the more you notice that everyone else is doing something better or more important than you.

We have the opportunity to choose whether we want to hang on or let go of emotional upsets. We can look at the cost of hanging on to them. Do we want to pay the price? Are we willing to accept the feelings? We can look at the benefits of letting go of them. The choice we make will determine our future. What kind of a future do we want? Will we choose to be healed, or will we become one of the walking wounded?

I am going to the bad place, as is my wont.

When you're making something, you're in a different state. You go into a deep level of concentration, to the point where you're not self-conscious anymore, it's just flowing out of you.

When we feel unsafe with someone and still stay with him, we damage our ability to discern trustworthiness in those we will meet in the future.

It is a sign of health when we acknowledge the legitimacy of our longings.

Attention means bringing something or someone into focus so it is no longer blurred by the projections of your own ego; thus it requires genuine interest and curiosity about the mysterious and surprising truth that is you.

A declaration of our own history of trust is essential in understanding ourselves and in growing in intimacy with our partner.

The good news can be summarized in this way. You are far worse than you think you are, and you are more loved than you ever imagined you could be. Jesus came to show us both.

Without this ability to stand outside your experience, without self-awareness, you would have little ability to moderate and direct your behavior moment to moment. Such real-time, goal-directed modulation of behavior is the key to acting as a mature adult. You need this capacity to free yourself from the automatic flow of experience, and to choose where to direct your attention. Without a director you are a mere automaton, driven by greed, fear, or habit.

One of the difficulties of stretching ourselves is that we tend to see ourselves as our limitations, not as our potential. We're lost in our own world.

didn't even know that Dani knew Laurie and Andy. My instinct is to complain about this; I hate when people pay attention to my birthday. I especially hate when people do things behind my back, even when they are well-intentioned. But I don't want to be an asshole; Dani went out of her way to do something nice. It's going to happen anyway, so there's nothing to be gained by acting like my normal, idiotic self. It's possible I may be maturing.

With the success of the last three or so years, when a lot of people start treating you differently, there's a danger that you may start to think of yourself differently. You rely on your friends to say, 'Hey, wake up!'

Your desires and true beliefs have a way of playing blind man's bluff. You must corner the inner facts...

I've been keeping a diary for thirty-three years and write in it every morning. Most of it's just whining, but every so often there'll be something I can use later: a joke, a description, a quote. It's an invaluable aid when it comes to winning arguments. 'That's not what you said on February 3 1996 ' I'll say to someone.

A good [short story] would take me out of myself and then stuff me back in, outsized, now, and uneasy with the fit.

I'm the most important person in the lives of almost everyone I know and a good number of the people I've never even met.

How can both Nics, the loving and considerate and generous one, and the self-obsessed and self-destructive one, be the same person?