Quotes About Diapers

Any more bitching from the geriatric crew? What a bunch of old women. Should I hire another crewmate to change your bed diapers while I'm at it? Next time I'll let The League have you. Vik, I'm relinquishing control back to you. (Devyn) It's what I live for. By the way, ye organic life forms aren't the only ones who've soiled themselves. Can I have a minute to attend my needs, Captain Asshole? (Vik)

Having twin girls is a life changer - that's for sure. But I like getting up and changing diapers. It's the things you do.

On the topic of babies: "I know which end you feed.

The real Michael Jackson that has not been seen... with children, one in diapers, the other two toddlers.

If you were out of a job and your kid needed diapers and your husband just left you, you would be so confused.

I have American in-laws, and I care about the environment. We don't use disposable diapers, which, of course, creates an environmental problem of our own.

I hate changing my baby's diapers after he poops. I know exactly what he ate at daycare. Yesterday, it was carrots. Tomorrow I'm hoping for long-stem roses.

The average citizen would probably be surprised to learn how often librarians—many of whom had masters degrees—were called upon to dispose of diapers or unclog toilets, though this was not listed anywhere in their job description.

Normal, perhaps, but disgusting. He'd thought diapers were bad. The barfing was arguably worse. Maybe it was an early warning sign of alcoholism: the girl would chugalug an entire bottle at one sitting, and then she'd hurl—and then she'd pass out.

But I actually did change Mary-Kate's and Ashley's diapers once. And that was four years ago. Ashley came up with the punch line to that joke. No,

I first went to Cambodia in 2002, primarily, as it turned out, to change diapers. My wife had work in Phnom Penh, and thus left with her driver and translator early each morning and returned later each night, while I took care of our firstborn son, who was 2 at the time.

Hey, more cash! This woman sent twenty dollars… and a coupon for diapers. Wait—that's a little mean.

I'm about as intimidating as a puppy. Wearing diapers. With a pacifier in its mouth. Well, one thing I can do right is fly.

At the Superdome, a young man came up to me holding a baby. He'd run out of diapers. He'd run out of medicine. His baby was sick. The guy's saying, 'Help me! Take my baby.' What could I do? That's the definition of helpless.

Depending on what was available in a given climate, a variety of porous fibers were used (and still are used in most countries) to stanch the monthly blood: makeshift paddings of roots and husks, homemade tampons of wadded paper, cotton or wool, and reusable diapers fashioned from folded lengths of heavy cloth, the shameful, bulky menstrual rags of my grandmother's generation that were furtively scrubbed in cold water and left to dry in a secret place.

I can change a No. 1 diaper in 30 seconds and a No. 2 in a minute.

My mom put me in a Pampers commercial on TV.

I became an uncle when I was barely out of diapers myself," Izzy told her as he gathered up Ash's bag. "I speak baby at a high level of expertise, so we'll be fine. My cell phone's on. I won't be insulted when you call to check in, so do what you need to do. Call every five minutes, if you want. If I don't answer, it's because I'm dealing with a two-handed diaper of doom. I'll call you right back if that happens.

He felt around desperately for a weapon. What did he have? Diapers? Cookies? Oh, why hadn't they given him a sword? He was the stupid warrior, wasn't he? His fingers dug in the leather bag and closed around the root beer can. Root beer! He yanked out the can shaking it with all his might. "Attack! Attack!" he yelled.

Also, some babies have an allergic reaction to the absorbent granules in disposable diapers, a condition sometimes confused with diaper rash. The difference is that diaper rash is localized, usually around the anus, whereas with an allergy the rash will span the entire area covered by the diaper, up to the waist.

Well, with Hunter as the father, I have to think of names he'd approve of." "You call that child Running Water and I'll disown you." Loretta giggled. "I don't know. After hemming all those diapers, maybe Running Water wouldn't be so far off mark.

Any desire for a family of your own yet? I would rather eat one of Barney's dirty diapers, he thought. Not yet, he said.

Dengar guffaws. "You little scrap-muncher. I was putting away bounties while you were still in your space diapers." "What's it say about you that you're still in your space diapers?

We've been through all this a thousand times. I won't subject myself to the indignities of pregnancy. I won't swish crap-laden diapers around in a toilet bowl ten times a day. Let someone else populate the earth. I'm not about to split off my soul, like some damned amoeba.