Quotes About Dialogue

Por que você sempre responde com outra pergunta? E por que você sempre busca nos outros as respostas às suas perguntas?

I could say Elves to him, But it's not elves exactly, and I'd rather He said it for himself.

I'd appreciate it if you would just call me a goddamn son of a bitch, Louis said. A man too foolish for words. All right. You're a foolish son of a bitch. Thank you, he said.

What was he going to say? He doubted she'd want to hear about his favorite topic-which swords were best suited for different situations.

Methods include cutting others off, overstating your facts, speaking in absolutes, changing subjects, or using directive questions to control the conversation.

this is the first principle of dialogue—Start with Heart. That is, your own heart. If you can't get yourself right, you'll have a hard time getting dialogue right.

In fact, with experience and maturity we learn to worry less about others' intent and more about the effect others' actions are having on us. No longer are we in the game of rooting out unhealthy motives. And here's the good news. When we reflect on alternative motives, not only do we soften our emotions, but equally important, we relax our absolute certainty long enough to allow for dialogue— the only reliable way of discovering others' genuine motives.

If you use these skills exactly the way we tell you to and the other person doesn't want to dialogue, you won't get to dialogue. However, if you persist over time, refusing to take offence, making your motive genuine, showing respect, and constantly searching for Mutual Purpose, then the other person will almost always join you in dialogue.

When it comes to risky, controversial, and emotional conversations, skilled people find a way to get all relevant information (from themselves and others) out into the open. That's it. At the core of every successful conversation lies the free flow of relevant information. People openly and honestly express their opinions, share their feelings, and articulate their theories. They willingly and capably share their views, even when their ideas are controversial or unpopular.

Search for the Elusive And The best at dialogue refuse Fool's Choices by setting up new choices. They present themselves with tougher questions—questions that turn the either/or choice into a search for the all-important and ever-elusive and. (It is an endangered species, you know.) Here's how this works.

When you STATE things well and others become defensive, refuse to conclude that the issue is impossible to discuss. Think harder about your approach. Step out of the content, do what it takes to make sure your partner feels safe, and then try again to candidly STATE your view.

People who are skilled at dialogue do their best to make it safe for everyone to add their meaning to the shared pool—even ideas that at first glance appear controversial, wrong, or at odds with their own beliefs. Now, obviously, they don't agree with every idea; they simply do their best to ensure that all ideas find their way into the open.

essential to verbalize your good intent. In face-to-face conversation

di·a·logue or di·a·log (dì´ Ã¢Ë†â€š-lôg´´, -lòg) n The free flow of meaning between two or more people.

It's our dogmatic conviction that "if we could just fix those losers, all would go better" that keeps us from taking action that could lead to dialogue and progress. Which is why it's no surprise that those who are best at dialogue tend to turn this logic around. They believe the best way to work on "us" is to start with "me.

Crucial Conversation kr shel kän´ vr sa´ shen) n A discussion between two or more people where (1) stakes are high, (2) opinions vary, and (3) emotions run strong.

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. —GEORGE BERNARD SHAW

If you persist over time, refusing to take offense, making your motive genuine, showing respect, and constantly searching for Mutual Purpose, then the other person will almost always join you in dialogue.

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. —GEORGE BERNARD SHAW What

When others move to silence or violence, step out of the conversation and Make it Safe. When safety is restored, go back to the issue at hand and continue the dialogue.

Here's why gifted communicators keep a close eye on safety. Dialogue calls for the free flow of meaning—period. And nothing kills the flow of meaning like fear. When you fear that people aren't buying into your ideas, you start pushing too hard. When you fear that you may be harmed in some way, you start withdrawing and hiding.

People who are gifted at dialogue keep a constant vigil on safety. They pay attention to the content—that's a given—and they watch for signs that people are becoming fearful.

One of the ironies of dialogue is that, when talking with those holding opposing opinions, the more convinced and forceful you act, the more resistant others become.

You are the devil to talk to, Rachel, he said curtly. Will you shut up and listen?