Quotes About Vulnerability

Choosing to live and love with our whole hearts is an act of defiance. You're going to confuse, piss off, and terrify lots of people—including yourself. One minute you'll pray that the transformation stops, and the next minute you'll pray that it never ends. You'll also wonder how you can feel so brave and so afraid at the same time. At least that's how I feel most of the time… brave, afraid, and very, very alive.

permission slips. We each wrote down one thing that we gave ourselves permission to do or feel for this meeting. Sometimes we do it on Post-it notes, but I prefer to write in my journal so that, in addition to my meeting notes, I have a reminder of what I was feeling that day.

Anger becomes an acceptable substitute for fear, which is forbidden.

We must be guardians of a space that allows students to breathe and be curious and explore the world and be who they are without suffocation. They deserve one place where they can rumble with vulnerability and their hearts can exhale.

Our stories are not meant for everyone. Hearing them is a privilege, and we should always ask ourselves this before we share: "Who has earned the right to hear my story?

Are we willing to show up and be seen when we can't control the outcome?

Why do we cause each other so much pain, and why do we turn away from hurt when the only way to the other side of struggle is through it? I don't know why it's so hard to understand—I've been known to run from vulnerability like someone is chasing me. Granted, not very often anymore. It just takes so much more energy and creates so much more emotional churn than having a seat and asking hurt or uncertainty to pull up a chair.

Fitting in emerges as the primary barrier to belonging.

the need for control is so strong that we'd rather have something be our fault than succumb to the bumper-sticker wisdom of "shit happens.

connection with others can only be as deep as our connection with ourselves. If I don't know and understand who I am and what I need, want, and believe, I can't share myself with you.

if we want freedom from perfectionism, we have to make the long journey from "What will people think?" to "I am enough." That journey begins with shame resilience, self-compassion, and owning our stories.

Shame resilience is the ability to practice authenticity when we experience shame, to move through the experience without sacrificing our values, and to come out on the other side of the shame experience with more courage, compassion, and connection than we had going into it. Ultimately, shame resilience is about moving from shame to empathy—the real antidote to shame.

Knowledge is important, but only if we're being kind and gentle with ourselves as we work to discover who we are. Wholeheartedness is as much about embracing our tenderness and vulnerability as it is about developing knowledge and claiming power.

The irony is that when we're standing across from someone who is hidden or shielded by masks and armor, we feel frustrated and disconnected. That's the paradox here: Vulnerability is the last thing I want you to see in me, but the first thing I look for in you.

Last, perfectionism is not a way to avoid shame. Perfectionism is a function of shame.

We can only belong when we offer our most authentic selves and when we're embraced for who we are.

It's easier to live disappointed than it is to feel disappointed. It feels more vulnerable to dip in and out of disappointment than to just set up a camp there. You sacrifice joy, but you suffer less pain.

I learned how to worry more about how I felt and less about "what people might think." I was setting new boundaries and began to let go of my need to please, perform, and perfect. I started saying no rather than sure (and being resentful and pissed off later).

connections, so part of my transformation was owning and celebrating

Here's the crux of the struggle: I want to experience your vulnerability but I don't want to be vulnerable. Vulnerability is courage in you and inadequacy in me. I'm drawn to your vulnerability but repelled by mine. As

Shame becomes fear. Fear leads to risk aversion. Risk aversion kills innovation.

circumstances. We feel reduced, less capable, and lost in the face of struggle.

Don't get too emotional, but don't be too detached either. Too emotional and you're hysterical. Too detached and you're a coldhearted bitch.

We either own our stories (even the messy ones), or we stand outside of them—denying our vulnerabilities and imperfections, orphaning the parts of us that don't fit in with who/what we think we're supposed to be, and hustling for other people's approval of our worthiness.