Quotes About Vulnerability

Looking at a man as though he was something the horse left behind isn't the way to elicit confidences.

Cancer is not a pretty pink ribbon, people aren't sail through their treatments. They are bald, and throwing up and some of the treatments actually increase their risk for other cancers.

I've always been scared to death of pain - afraid, even, to think of it.

Los Angeles has more kids in foster care than any other city and it is not unusual to read a news story about a child who was injured or who needlessly died in foster care—after being unjustly taken from economically disadvantaged parents who are not unfit.

Before she could finish that thought, Dare kissed her on the top of the head. "You're more fragile than you realize, Molly Alexander." He caught her chin, turning her face toward him. "Don't push yourself. I want you - that's not going to change. I can't say I won't kiss you, but how far and how fast we go is up to you.

But many people come to therapy seeking closure. Help me not to feel. What they eventually discover is that you can't mute one emotion without muting the others. You want to mute the pain? You'll also mute the joy.

Therapy elicits odd reactions because, in a way, it's like pornography. Both involve a kind of nudity. Both have the potential to thrill. And both have millions of users, most of whom keep their use private.

Even in the best possible relationship, you're going to get hurt sometimes, and no matter how much you love somebody, you will at times hurt that person, not because you want to, but because you're human. You will inevitably hurt your partner, your parents, your children, your closest friend—and they will hurt you—because if you sign up for intimacy, getting hurt is part of the deal.

But what are we so afraid of? It's not as if we're going to peer in those darker corners, flip on the light, and find a bunch of cockroaches. Fireflies love the dark too. There's beauty in those places. But we have to look in there to see it.

Until you tell me what's really on your mind, you'll stay stuck exactly where you are.

Therapy elicits odd reactions because, in a way, it's like pornography. Both involve a kind of nudity.

Perhaps men apologize preemptively, by holding their tears back.

you're going to get hurt sometimes, and no matter how much you love somebody, you will at times hurt that person, not because you want to, but because you're human

Even in the best possible relationship, you're going to get hurt sometimes, and no matter how much you love somebody, you will at times hurt that person, not because you want to, but because you're human.

The inability to say yes, however—to intimacy, a job opportunity, an alcohol program—is more about lack of trust in oneself. Will I mess this up? Will this turn out badly? Isn't it safer to stay where I am?

You can't get through your pain by diminishing it, he reminded me.

The more you welcome your vulnerability," Wendell had said, "the less afraid you'll feel." This isn't how we tend to view life when we're younger. Our younger selves think in terms of a beginning, middle, and some kind of resolution. But somewhere along the way—perhaps in that middle—we realize that everyone lives with things that may not get worked out. That the middle has to be the resolution, and how we make meaning of it becomes our task.

But unlike neurosurgeons, we gravitate toward the sensitive area, pressing delicately on it, even if it makes the patient feel uncomfortable.

John lowers himself onto the couch, kicks off his shoes, then stretches out, lies down, and adjusts his head on the pillows. Usually he sits cross-legged on the sofa, so this is a first. I notice, too, that there's no food today. "Okay, you win," he begins with a sigh. "Win what?" I ask. "The pleasure of my company," he deadpans. I raise my eyebrows.

For many people, going into the depths of their thoughts and feelings is like going into a dark alley—they don't want to go there alone.

Our training has taught us theories and tools and techniques, but whirring beneath our hard-earned expertise is the fact that we know just how hard it is to be a person. Which is to say, we still come to work each day as ourselves—with our own sets of vulnerabilities, our own longings and insecurities, and our own histories. Of all my credentials as a therapist, my most significant is that I'm a card-carrying member of the human race.

The First Confession Allow me to get defensive for a minute. You see, when I told Wendell that everything was just fine until the breakup, I was telling the absolute truth. Or, rather, the truth as I knew it. Which is to say, the truth as I wanted to see it.

The more you welcome your vulnerability, the less afraid you'll feel.

when we feel fragile, we're like raw eggs—we crack open and splatter if dropped. But when we develop more resilience, we're like hard-boiled eggs—we might get dinged up if dropped, but we won't crack completely and spill all over the place.