Quotes About Safety

Embrace Fun: This obvious one is still worth mentioning, because laughter is not just laughter; it's the most fundamental sign of safety and connection.

In the first two sections of this book we've focused on safety and vulnerability. We've seen how small signals—You are safe, We share risk here—connect people and enable them to work together as a single entity. But now it's time to ask: What's this all for? What are we working toward? When I visited the successful groups, I noticed that whenever they communicated anything about their purpose or their values, they were as subtle as a punch in the nose.

In any interaction, we have a natural tendency to try to hide our weaknesses and appear competent. If you want to create safety, this is exactly the wrong move.

This idea—that belonging needs to be continually refreshed and reinforced—is worth dwelling on for a moment. If our brains processed safety logically, we would not need this steady reminding. But our brains did not emerge from millions of years of natural selection because they process safety logically. They emerged because they are obsessively on the lookout for danger.

proximity functions as a kind of connective drug. Get close, and our tendency to connect lights up. As scientists have pointed out, the Allen Curve follows evolutionary logic. For the vast majority of human history, sustained proximity has been an indicator of belonging—after all, we don't get consistently close to someone unless it's mutually safe.

Creating safety is about dialing in to small, subtle moments and delivering targeted signals at key points.

Group performance depends on behavior that communicates one powerful overarching idea: We are safe and connected.

In the face of an enemy believed to be Hitlerian in savagery and armed with a nuclear force believed (incorrectly) to be superior to our own, all these concerns and considerations of safety and high-level control gave way.

I think honesty and love help to create the safety that children need to just be children. If we want them to "fix" us, to cure us, to make us better, then we are not being honest with ourselves; we know that children can't heal us or heal our relationships with others. That is beyond their capabilities, and it is certainly not their responsibility.

more often, the payoff is better if you don't pretend you feel strong when you feel weak or pretend that you are brave when you're scared. I really believe the world might be a safer place if everyone who felt vulnerable wore flashers that said, "I have a problem and I'm doing the best I can".

Each spine with its shelf-mark code in familiar typewriter font, each date stamp a footprint of readers gone before and each shelf with its alphabetical ordering - these things align to provide the orderliness so cherished in a library. There is safety and structure amongst the stacks. Everything has a place, and you have found yours.

My porch feels as safe as a chocolate doughnut on an ant hill.

Maps are just a lie we tell ourselves to feel safe.

All those postage-stamp front yards we used to have were reminders that we like clear spaces to see predators coming.

The lie that terrorists want you to believe is that you are in immediate and great peril.

Presence depends upon a sense of safety. The

Coupling the relaxation and sense of safety associated with that imagery with the sensations of the body can ground a person in the visceral reality of tranquility and clarity. It is this grounded place that can serve as a vital resource of safety and strength during the explorations ahead.

The absence of limits and boundaries is actually quite stressful, and stressed kids are more reactive. So when we say no and set limits for our children, we help them discover predictability and safety in an otherwise chaotic world. And we build brain connections that allow kids to handle difficulties well in the future.

sense of danger, we cannot activate what Porges calls the social engagement system. And we don't access what I've called a self-engagement system either (see

their parents. Abuse is incompatible

We also believe that children should have the right to be free from any form of violence, especially at the hands of the people they trust most to protect them.

When children are securely attached to their parents, they feel safe enough to test that relationship. In other words, your child's misbehavior is often a sign of his trust and safety with you. Many parents notice that their children "save it all up for them," behaving much better at school or with other adults than they do at home. This is why. These flare-ups are often signs of safety and trust, rather than just some form of rebellion.

When children are securely attached to their parents, they feel safe enough to test that relationship. In

La disciplina efectiva depende de una relación afectuosa y respetuosa entre el adulto y el niño. La disciplina no debe incluir nunca amenazas ni humillaciones, provocar daño físico, asustar ni hacer que los niños sientan que el adulto es un enemigo. La disciplina ha de transmitir sensación de seguridad y cariño a todos los implicados.