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For the last day or so there had been a certain amount of coolness in the home over a pair of jazz spats which I had dug up while exploring in the Burlington Arcade.
~ P.G. Wodehouse
Writing my books I enjoy. It is the thinking them out that is apt to blot the sunshine from my life.
~ P.G. Wodehouse
I've said it before, and I'll say it again--girls are rummy. Old Pop Kipling never said a truer word than when he made that crack about the f. of the s. being more d. than the m.
~ P.G. Wodehouse
Lord Emsworth could conceive of no way in which Freddie could be of value to a dog-biscuit firm, except possibly as a taster.
~ P.G. Wodehouse
His manner had the offensive jauntiness of the man who has had a cold bath when he might just as easily have had a hot one.
~ P.G. Wodehouse
The wretched man seemed fully conscious of his position.
~ P.G. Wodehouse
It is madness to come to country houses without one's bottle of Mickey Finns.
~ P.G. Wodehouse
No burglar wastes his time burgling authors.
~ P.G. Wodehouse
I suppose I must be one of the neurotic younger generation you read about in the papers nowadays, because it was pretty plain within half a second that I wasn't strong and I wasn't phlegmatic.
~ P.G. Wodehouse
The voice of a donkey braying in the neighbouring meadow seemed like the mocking laughter of demons.
~ P.G. Wodehouse
How's the weather, Jeeves?' 'Exceptionally clement, sir.
~ P.G. Wodehouse
If I ever breakfasted at half past eight I should walk on the Embankment, trying to end it all in a watery grave.
~ P.G. Wodehouse
My attention was drawn to the spots on my chest when I was in the bath, singing, if I remember rightly, the Toreador song from the opera Carmen.
~ P.G. Wodehouse
Jeeves—my man, you know—is really a most extraordinary chap. So capable. Honestly, I shouldn't know what to do without him.
~ P.G. Wodehouse
This man's brother I was telling you about, said Spennie, says there's only one rhyme in the English language to 'burglar', and that's 'gurgler'. Unless you count 'pergola', he says——
~ P.G. Wodehouse
What, in your opinion, will the harvest be? One finds it difficult to hazard a conjecture, sir. You mean imagination boggles? Yes, sir. I inspected my imagination. He was right. It boggled.
~ P.G. Wodehouse
six of the juiciest from a cane of the type that biteth like a serpent and stingeth like an adder, as the fellow said.
~ P.G. Wodehouse
She did drive me in the Park the other day. I thought it rather a hopeful
~ P.G. Wodehouse
I was endeavouring to adjust the faculties, which were in urgent need of a bit of first-aid treatment.
~ P.G. Wodehouse
But, Bill, old scout, your sister says there's a most corking links near here. He turned and stared at me, and nearly ran us into the bank. You don't mean honestly she said that? She said you said it was better than St. Andrews. So I did. Was that all she said I said? Well, wasn't it enough? She didn't happen to mention that I added the words, 'I don't think'? No, she forgot to tell me that. It's the worst course in Great Britain.
~ P.G. Wodehouse
In the spring, Jeeves, a livelier iris gleams upon the burnished dove.' 'So
~ P.G. Wodehouse
It went automatically to a heavy-weight mother with beetling eyebrows who looked as if she had just come from doing a spot of knitting at the foot of the guillotine.
~ P.G. Wodehouse
He lit another cigar, and began to brood over the folly of mankind.
~ P.G. Wodehouse
Mac had many admirable qualities, but not tact. He was the sort of man who would have tried to cheer Napoleon up by talking about the Winter Sports at Moscow.
~ P.G. Wodehouse