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It's extraordinary," muttered the professor. "There's a special connection between them." "Like me and me favourite mop," added Dotty.
~ David Walliams
How did it sound?" asked Tom. "Awful! But it didn't matter how it sounded!" said Robin. "It was how it felt!
~ David Walliams
Aaah! Miss Zoe. My favourite customer.
~ David Walliams
A bronze bust of some dictator or other, who had gone by the name of "Trump.
~ David Walliams
Are you sure you want this, Dennis?" asked Raj. "Vogue is mainly read by ladies, and your drama teacher Mr Howerd.
~ David Walliams
Winnie Prophecy Mystelle Passionfruit Turquoise Dave Smith,
~ David Walliams
Shut ya face. I'm watchin' TV and stuffin' meself!" came the woman's gruff voice from the lounge.
~ David Walliams
Give us it you little ****," said the other one. I have to confess, reader, that the **** bit was a swear word. Other swear words include ****, ******** and of course the incredibly rude ************************. If you don't know any swear words it's best to ask a parent or teacher or other responsible adult to make a list for you.
~ David Walliams
Magazines like that are for girls! And woofters!" "SHUT UP!" said Dad. Dennis
~ David Walliams
Naughty bottom!" called out Dotty, slapping her own rear end. Just as
~ David Walliams
Oh, bother!," said Pooh, as Piglet came back from the dead.
~ David Weber
I will not negotiate with the undead!
~ David Wellington
Sometimes we call it 'Extra Chunky,' too." "Why's that?" she finally asked. "Because," DeForrest said, barely able to contain his mirth, "when you run over a hippy with this thing, extra chunky is about all that's left.
~ David Wellington
a poker-rectumed pillar of the establishment [Marcus Corvinus on a Roman Senator]
~ David Wishart
The situation has a real Lovecraft feel to it. Though, you know, if you come over it'll be more of an Anne Rice situation. If you know what I mean." "Who's-" "Because you're gay.
~ David Wong
Sound filled the room, a crystal melody that could lift any human heart and turn away any devil. It was "Here I Go Again" by Whitesnake.
~ David Wong
No. We talked about this. I'm going home to eat a pie.
~ David Wong
We don't feel like that's a good faith offer, because it seems more like you're just trying to save money on cockroaches.
~ David Wong
Arnie sighed and for a quick moment looked genuinely sympathetic that someone could dream up something this elaborately sad.
~ David Wong
They passed a law that said I couldn't put my hands in my pockets. Do you know why? Because they would become concealed weapons. I can kill a man with these hands.
~ David Wong
You think the jellyfish ate her?" "Bones and all?" "We're talking about a tentacled flying lamp fucker, Dave. What are you prepared to call unlikely?
~ David Wong
I don't see it right now - maybe it was in a different book - but anyway, he says that when you read the Bible, the Devil looks back at you through the pages." "What, like his Bible was possessed? Holy shit, he must have been the worst priest ever.
~ David Wong
We were not restrained in our chairs, but there were so many guns on us that if I scratched my nose, the shooting aftermath would look like somebody had just spilled a huge lasagna here.
~ David Wong
John unzipped the satchel and pulled out a weapon he had made, a Bible wrapped around the end of a baseball bat with electrician's tape. He brought it up to the ready. I pushed "play.
~ David Wong