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As for logic and internal consistency, these mundane rules do not apply to sacred writings and never have...

Of all the strange "crimes" that human beings have legislated out of nothing, "blasphemy" is the most amazing—with "obscenity" and "indecent exposure" fighting it out for second and third place.

Never appeal to a man's better nature. He may not have one. Invoking his self-interest gives you more leverage.

That God is in truth the sort of bloodthirsty paranoid Who would rend to bits forty-two children for the crime of sassing one of his priests. Don't ask me about the Front Office's policies; I just work here.

His claim to Mars is lawyers' hogwash; as a lawyer myself I need not respect it.

Once upon a time there was a Martian named Valentine Michael Smith.

Private,' he said firmly. 'Family matter. Go have a drink.' 'Whose family?' 'A death in yours, if you insist.

Sit back down—and for God's sake quit trying to be as nasty as I am; you don't have my years of practice.

Well, I'll stick to the Old Testament, picking it to pieces usually doesn't upset people quite so much.

Being kissed by Wyoming Knott is more definite than being married to most women.

I hope he's just a scoundrel . . . because a saint can stir up ten times as much mischief as a scoundrel.

they would rather sneer at us and be smug, because we 'fail' to see what they are driving at. If indeed they are driving at anything--obscurity is usually the refuge of incompetence.

Mahmoud, sir. No, Doctor Mahmoud is not well. A—a slight nervous breakdown, sir." Van Tromp reflected that being dead drunk was the moral equivalent thereof.

Want to back out?" Jill let out a long breath. "No. I've always wanted a life of crime. Will you teach me gangster lingo? I want to be a credit to you.

I'm not suggesting anything. People get hurt every day. This matter must be cleared up, Joseph, for everybody. The greatest good of the greatest number, as you are so fond of quoting.

Duke, almost the only human characteristic Mike seems to possess is an overwhelming desire to be liked.

My child, a true-confession story should never be tarnished by any taint of truth.

The correct way to punctuate a sentence that states: Of course it is none of my business, but -- is to place a period after the word but.

It says in Little Women that a bride should be half her husband's age plus seven years. Zebadiah and I hit close to that.

Don't talk dirty. Did you say 'thoat'?" "Yes. This is Barsoom." "I thoat that was what you said." "If that's a pun, you can eat it for supper. With peanut butter.

I have no hesitation in saying that I have no comment—and you can quote me that that is strictly off the record.

too many facts hamper a diplomat, especially an honest one." "I'm not especially honest." "But you have no talent for dishonesty, so your refuge must be ignorance and stubbornness. You have the latter; try to preserve the former.

human being has no natural rights of any nature.

Vengeance is mine, saith the lord, but only if Gwen leaves me any.