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John Atkins, the naval surgeon, spoke of the transition from privateer to pirate as going from "plundering for others, to do it for themselves.

all that I can do is to urge you to put friendship before all things human; for nothing is so conformable to nature and nothing so adaptable to our fortunes whether they be favourable or adverse.

O noble philosophy! Why, they seem to take the sun out of the universe when they deprive life of friendship, than which we have from the immortal gods no better, no more delightful boon.

A genius with the IQ of a moron. GORE VIDAL, ON ANDY WARHOL

I'm a fool, to confuse this with goodness. I am not good. I know too much to be good. I know myself. I know myself to be vengeful, greedy, secretive and sly.

The answers you get from literature depend on the questions you pose.

I am tempted to think that to be despised by her sex is a very great compliment to a woman.

All stories are about wolves. All worth repeating, that is. Anything else is sentimental drivel.

But maybe boredom is erotic, when women do it, for men.

It's a lifelong failing: she has never been prepared. But how can you have a sense of wonder if you're prepared for everything? Prepared for the sunset. Prepared for the moonrise. Prepared for the ice storm. What a flat existence that would be.

It's always encouraging to be told that it is intellectually acceptable to read the sorts of things that you like to read anyway.

It is shocking how many crimes the Bible contains. The Governor's wife should cut them all out and paste them into her scrapbook.

I don't even close my eyes. Out there or inside my head, it's an equal darkness. Or light.

God is a cluster of neurons.

It's clear, it's fresh, like a mint candy.

Being socially retarded is like being mentally retarded, it arouses in others disgust and pity and the desire to torment and reform.

A writer's age at the time of a work's composition is never irrelevant.

I guess you get all my money, I said. And I'm not even dead. I was trying for a joke, but it came out sounding macabre. Hush, he said. He was still kneeling on the floor. You know I'll always take care of you. I thought, already he's starting to patronize me. Then I thought, already you're starting to get paranoid.

Don't blame me, blame history, he says, smiling. Such things happen. Falling in love has been recorded, or at least those words have.

It was Crake preserving his dignity, because the alternative would have been losing it.

According to Tobias, it was more difficult to seduce a stupid woman than an intelligent one because stupid women could not understand innuendo or even connect cause with effect.

I grew sodden with light; my skin on the inside glowed a dull red.

And I said that Crozier did not need to call Fuck right now because we were not in trouble and did not need his help. And Toby said, That's right, he doesn't like to be summoned on trivial matters. And Zeb coughed.

It's kind of shocking to hear Toby called a babe; sort of like calling God a studmuffin.