Quotes About Recovery

Earnie Larsen, another codependency specialist and a pioneer in that field, defines codependency as "those self-defeating, learned behaviors or character defects that result in a diminished capacity to initiate or to participate in loving relationships

We try to do something each day toward recovery.

Chemical dependency destroys slowly but thoroughly

Melody Beattie

When a codependent discontinued his or her relationship with a troubled person, the codependent frequently sought another troubled person and repeated the codependent behaviors with that new person. These behaviors, or coping mechanisms, seemed to prevail throughout the codependent's life—if that person didn't change these behaviors.

We don't have to punish ourselves by feeling guilty to prove to God or anyone else how much we care.7 We need to forgive ourselves. Take the Fourth and Fifth Steps (see the chapter on working a Twelve Step program); talk to a clergy person; talk to God; make amends; and then be done with it.

OBSESSION Codependents

Most recovering addicts and alcoholics have codependency underneath.

We frequently react to people who are destroying themselves; we react by learning to destroy ourselves.

It's clear now that codependency isn't a fad, as some people once claimed. It's come full circle. As family illnesses, from alcoholism to Alzheimer's disease, continue to become openly discussed by more people, so does the number of people seeking help for codependency increase.

We are never starting over. In recovery, we are moving forward in a perfectly planned progression of lessons.

Sometimes we outgrow a group or sponsor. It's okay to do that without guilt as long as we're not in denial. As we grow, our recovery needs will change. Be flexible and open, and Life will show you what to do.

Melody Beattie

We develop a personal relationship with God, a Higher Power of our understanding. We find meaning in every detail of our lives; there isn't anything that we did or that happened to us that can't be used for good. We finally find our purpose

In recovery, we learn that self-care leads us on the path to God's will and plan for our life. Self-care never leads away from our highest good; it leads toward it. Learn to nurture that voice inside. We can trust ourselves.

Codependents aren't crazier or sicker than alcoholics. But, they hurt as much or more.

It's been difficult for codependents to get the information and practical help they need and deserve. It's tough enough to convince alcoholics (or other disturbed people) to seek help. It's more difficult to convince codependents—those who by comparison look, but don't feel, normal—that they have problems.

Each person is unique; each situation is unique. Try to tap into your own healing process.

with a compulsive disorder do whatever it is they are compelled to do, they are not saying they don't love you—they are saying they don't love themselves. — CODEPENDENT NO MORE

with a compulsive disorder do whatever it is they are compelled to do, they are not saying they don't love you—they are saying they don't love themselves. — CODEPENDENT

It is understandable that we don't want to feel any more pain. Many of us have had more than our share. In fact, at some time in our life, we may have been overwhelmed, crushed, or stopped in our tracks by the amount of pain we felt. We may not have had the resources to cope with our pain or take care of ourselves.

Clear thinking means we don't allow ourselves to become immersed in negativity or unrealistic expectations. We stay connected to other recovering people. We go to our meetings, where peace of mind and realistic support are available. We work the Steps, pray, and meditate.

Taking Care of Ourselves: October 6

When we got clean, we could do things other people couldn't—like help other addicts and alkies get sober. We could be as good as we'd been bad. We were useful; there was a place for us in the world. It had been fun to get high, but it was even more exciting to get sober. We believed in recovery. We believed in people. We believed in life, and we believed in God. There was a revolution going on. "For a while it was Camelot," a friend said.