Quotes About Marriage

In married life three is company and two none.

How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive.

One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry.

One should always be in love. That's the reason one should never marry.

Bigamy is having one husband or wife too many. Monogamy is the same.

Divorces are made in heaven.

The only charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception necessary for both parties.

There are men who are willing to marry a woman they do not care about merely because she is admired by other men. Such a relation exists between many men and their thoughts.

No doubt the shortness of your memories is a very convenient thing for you; for without it I really don't know how you could have the conscience to repudiate your debts, swear in your witness boxes, take your marriage vows, traverse your divorce petitions, or do half the things that you do do. But, owing to the perfection of our remembrance, I can recall every trifle of the life that I then enjoyed with him.

Quarrels are the dowry which married folk bring one another.

Eurydice, dying now a second time, uttered no complaint against her husband. What was there to complain of, but that she had been loved?

Nothing's queer," stated the Virginian, "except marriage and lightning. Them two occurrences can still give me a sensation of surprise.

The funny thing about getting married in America was that we needed to get a blood test before they'd give us a licence. I wouldn't have been surprised if the bloke from the lab had called back and said, 'Mr Osbourne, we appear to have found some blood in your alcohol.'

Even now, I have a lot of trouble understanding why Sharon stayed – or why she married me in the first place, come to think of it. I mean, she was actually afraid of me half the time. And the truth was I was afraid of me, too. Afraid of what I'd do to myself or, even worse, to someone else.

My wife can sniff out a lie from six thousand miles away. And I'm the world's worst liar, anyway.

I think war is just part of human nature. And I'm fascinated by human nature – especially the dark side. I always have been. It doesn't make me a Devil worshipper, no more than being interested in Hitler makes me a Nazi. I mean, if I'm a Nazi, how come I married a woman who's half Jewish?

A lot of people came up to me that night and asked, 'How come you and Sharon have stayed together all this time?' My answer was the same then as it is now: I've never stopped telling my wife that I love her; I've never stopped taking her out for dinner; I've never stopped surprising her with little gifts.

And she's got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.

Staying married may have long-term benefits. You can elicit much more sympathy from friends over a bad marriage than you ever can from a good divorce.

The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to.

And she's got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.

Marriage is not a process for prolonging the life of love, sir. It merely mummifies its corpse.

I'm a flaming faggot, Irving. I was sure you were on to that. I don't go around waving the flag, of course, and I definitely do not proselytize. Homosexuality is, to me, an inner satisfaction, a pride in a heritage of greatness. To marry a woman would be an inadmissible rejection of my identity.

Yeah. That's what happened. We sat around, nobody talked. I don't understand marriage, Charlie. What are you supposed to do with your wife? I mean, most of the time. CHARLIE (Thinking) Most of the time, Arnold, you don't even see each other. You're away working. You come home, and you eat. Then one of you washes the dishes. Then, if you're not tired, you can go to the movies or visit somebody. Or you watch Tee Vee.