Quotes About Interaction

Dolphins : Animals that are so intelligent that, within a few weeks of captivity, they can train a man to stand on the edge of their pool and throw them food three times a day.

No matter what time of year it's always funny when a person walks by me dressed in religious garb and I say Happy Halloween!

Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore. I realized it was killing conversation. When you're always trying for a topper you aren't really listening. It ruins communication

Overseas, language barriers keep me from doing a lot of talking and some of the jokes that I think are funny and they're like crickets. I have to sharpen up on that.

I think the reason I became funny was because if I made people laugh, they would let me keep talking.

Even as a kid I was never the generator of humor, but I always knew who was funny, who to hang out with.

I believe the term "blog" means more than an online journal. I believe a blog is a conversation. People go to blogs to read AND write, not just consume.

I said to the waitress, "There's a fly swimming in my soup." She said: "You've got too much soup - he should only be able to paddle."

A member of the committee slapped a name tag over my left bosom. "What shall we name the other one?" I smiled. She was not amused.

I prefer dead writers because you don't run into them at parties.

She tried to smile sympathetically, but with her face it wasn't quite possible.

Always warm up the audience with a joke....If you are not a particularly funny person, make sure that you inform them that it's a joke.

It's funny how you can know your friends so well, but you still end up playing the same games with them.

I like to wear a "Do Not Disturb" sign around my neck so that little kids can't tell me knock-knock jokes. "Hey, how ya doin'? Knock-knock." "Read the sign, punk!"

Meeting Helen Mirren was a fabulous experience. I had played it out in my mind, how I should greet her when we would be introduced. But the way we met was funny because I just didn't recognise her!

Ain't it funny what people say? Ain't it funny what people write?

It's always funny to find what people's button is.

It's harder when people are playing along, because it's just not as funny. They're trying to be funny, and it sort of cancels out the whole joke.

so this crow comes and it starts quacking at us.

This many pretty girls in the room, all watching you boys like you're a wedding-reception one-night stand waiting to happen—

Cole, for Christ's sake, will you stop staring at me like I'm beefcake of the month?

Dave walked closer to me, his dark eyes combing my every move. "Do you always hold your guitar like that?"I dropped my pick. "Do you always shop at Hot Topic?

Very helpful, I must say. Look at them in the eye and shout, and they understand every word..." (Mr. Warbeck in Sienna, talking about local Italians.)

What are you doing?" I asked Loretta. "Stabbing a cushion, " she told me.