Quotes About Breathalyzer

Where were you before she called?" "At a wedding." "Drink much?" "More than I should have." "Were you drunk when she called?" "I probably would have passed a Breathalyzer." "But you were, shall we say, feeling it?" "Yes." "Ironic, don't you think?" "Like an Alanis Morissette song," he said. "I have a question for you.

New Rule: Stop calling bagpipes a musical instrument. They're actually a Scottish Breathalyzer test. You blow into one end, and if the sound that comes out the other end doesn't make you want to kill yourself--you're not drunk enough.