Quotes About Performance

It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.

It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.

But I... never could make a good impromptu speech without several hours to prepare it.

Tomorrow night I appear for the first time before a Boston audience of 4000 critics.

Moving efficiently improves performance and keeps you from suffering injuries. We view the body and how it moves as an integrated system. We don't draw walls between various body groups, systems, and body parts; it's one system.

Maybe I'm delusional but I'm usually funny. It's not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.

I think being successful in comedy is being funny and making jokes - anything beyond that is the icing on the cake.

When you do comedy in front of an audience, they are the ones who tell you whether it's funny or not and which bits are funny and which bits need to be fixed.

Chris Elliott could read the phonebook and he's funny.

I'd rather play in front of a full house than an empty crowd

One accusation you can't throw at me is that I've always done my best.

Write it down in your own handwriting.

I miss being able to wake up when I want and go on stage when I want and pull down my pants when I want.

When I was doing ensemble theater and comedy work, I felt I had some talents. But when I started doing my shows in Berkeley and found that I could be funny on my own, I was shocked.

We can't hear the balance yet because the soloist is still on the airplane.

Carol Burnett was particularly funny. She swore for the first time on television on Larry Sanders.

Billy Crystal knows how to make people laugh. He's got 30 years on stage... there's no telling him what's funny.

I am a guy who talks about bacon and escalators.

Brass bands are all very well in their place - outdoors and several miles away.

I'd like to make you laugh for about ten minutes though I'm gonna be on for an hour.

She didn't need to go to acting school to learn that the essence of acting is to act like you're not acting.

Comedy is ridiculously hard. And if the rhythm is not right, if the music or the line is not right, it's not funny.

Trying to be funny is one of the hardest things on the planet. I think that's tough for everyone. If you're just naturally funny it's a hell of a lot easier.

Comedy is a meritocracy. If you are funny, you are there. If you are not, you are out.