Quotes About Partners

what happens when trauma survivors stay emotionally shut down? Trauma's echoes cannot dissipate. The continuing reverberations gradually erode connection and trust with loved ones. Partners need to recognize that avoiding emotion sets their relationship up for descent

The more we can reach out to our partners, the more separate and independent we can be. Although this flies in the face of our culture's creed of self-sufficiency, psychologist Brooke Feeney of Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh found exactly that in observations of 280 couples. Those who felt that their needs were accepted by their partners were more confident about solving problems on their own and were more likely to successfully achieve their own goals.

The overall conclusion: a sense of secure connection between romantic partners is key in positive loving relationships and a huge source of strength for the individuals in those relationships. Among the more significant findings:

It is not for people who are in abusive or violent relationships, nor for those with serious addictions or in long-term affairs; such activities undermine the ability to positively engage with partners.

These strategies for dealing with the fear of losing connection are unconscious, and they work, at least in the beginning. But as distressed partners resort to them more and more, they set up vicious spirals of insecurity that only push them further and further apart. More and more interactions occur in which neither partner feels safe, both become defensive, and each is left assuming the very worst about each other and their relationship.

Any partner we choose will hurt us at one time or another. No relationship, even the most ideal, has unwaveringly smooth sailing; there will always be squalls and storms that roil the waters.

Partners sometimes can see glimpses of the Demon Dialogue they're trapped in—Jim tells me he "knows" he will hear how he has disappointed Carol before she even speaks and so has put up a "wall" to keep from "catching fire"—but the pattern has become so automatic and so compelling that they cannot stop it. Most couples, however, aren't aware of the pattern that has taken hold of their relationship.

When safe connection seems lost, partners go into fight-or-flight mode. They blame and get aggressive to get a response, any response, or they close down and try not to care. Both are terrified; they are just dealing with it differently. Trouble is, once they start this blame-distance loop, it confirms all their fears and adds to their sense of isolation.

A marriage or any relationship between partners is meant to be created and then re-created. It is an edifice a couple builds until the day the edifice can no longer hold them and they must bring it down and start again from scratch. And without any of the old assumptions. It's exactly like Carolyn Heilbrun says, all good marriages are remarriages.

Repressed rage can be one of the major sources of stress to the body. In fact, it can actually begin to wear the body out. Rather than deal with their unacceptable rage at their partners, many women unconsciously redirect their anger inward, back onto themselves. The more a woman does this, the more internal damage she is likely to do to herself.

Some misogynists do not resort to the obvious cruelty of scare tactics and screamed insults to gain control of their partners. Instead of raising their voices, they wear down their partners through unrelenting criticism and fault-finding. This type of psychological abuse is particularly insidious because it is often disguised as a way of teaching the woman how to be a better person.

When couples cannot talk about their problems in a healthy way and become entrenched in their opinions, they have the same failed conversations over and over.  The relationship becomes emotionally clogged. Friction and frustration grow. Partners feel rejected, like they can't get through to one another.  Behaviors associated with conflict avoidance include passive aggressive behavior, withdrawal. 

Though both partners may wish for reconciliation, their unspoken goals are often sharply in conflict. The abuser usually wishes to reestablish his pattern of coercive control, while the victim wishes to resist it.

Empaths may unknowingly get involved with toxic partners and become anxious, depressed, or ill. They give their hearts too easily to narcissists and other unavailable people. Empaths are loving and expect others to be that way, which doesn't always happen. They also absorb their partner's stress and emotions, such as anger or depression, simply by interacting with them

A healthy connection is when partners are mutually committed to the relationship and both want to open their hearts to each other. In contrast, attachment is when we cling to someone with a death grip, hoping that person will change. Attachments are dangerous because they can keep us linked to unavailable people or toxic relationships. If you are looking for intimacy, search out people who are excited to be with you.

I wonder how many people don't get the one they want, but end up with the one they're supposed to be with.

How many relationships endure not from love but because one or both partners fear solitude more than they fear mayhem?

I realize more than ever that this ministry has been a team effort. Without the help of our prayer partners, our financial supporters, our staff, and our board of directors—this ministry and all of our dreams to spread the Good News of God's love throughout the world would not have been possible.

The partners had recently settled a lawsuit against one such copycat, and the experience had convinced Saginaw that legal protections were a poor substitute for innovation.

Upon marrying, we need most to pray for one of two things in our partners--the love that blinds, or the good-nature that excuses.

One of the ways partners, family, housemates, or anyone else who's a big part of daily life can support us is in accommodations, adaptations, or other changes we need in order to get through this or to adjust to the ways that we are just going to be different because of this from now on. That can be bigger things or little ones, but clear, tangible ways to help can go a long way for everyone and can be adapted for every age and ability.

The U.K. should see overseas aid as an investment in the future potential of a market and shouldn't be used as a stick to bash trading partners and strategic allies with.

Many of our traditional partners are positioning themselves as strong regional players... Shell is a global player. And as the global gas markets develop... we will be creating a global strategic partnership.

Sometimes our partners from other countries ask us why we have not got further with our reconciliation, as if we possess a magic to just get rid of this tragic history of ours.