Quotes About Etiquette

Have you ever thought about going into politics, Mr. Maxwell?" she asked archly as she snapped open her fan. She cooled herself in a manner that had no secret meaning that she knew of. Whoever invented the "language" of the fan should have been slapped. What if a lady simply wanted to cool herself and not send a message? "I fancy you'd be quite good at it." Kellan only smiled, taking no offense. Obviously he was too pleased with himself to regret the remark.

Lords and ladies,

Always the perfect French, with never a contraction or word of slang.

Just because I'm flaunting it doesn't mean you can stare for hours on end. A polite ogle is appreciated and suitable for a flaunt. Slobbering is not.

A princess never refers to anything as a bitch unless it has eight teats

And when you do finally connect, don't sabotage your efforts by expressing how annoyed you are that they didn't get back to you as quickly as you would have liked. Nor should you apologize for your persistence. Just dive in as if you caught him on the first call. Make it comfortable for everyone.

No gentleman ever discusses any relationship with a lady.

Dad had this story. A Marine and a Navy guy walk into a bathroom together. They both take a piss, and then the sailor goes to the sink. The Marine heads for the door, and the sailor says, 'Hey—in the Navy they teach us to wash up after we take a leak.' And the Marine turns around and says, 'Yeah? Well, in the Marines they teach us not to piss on our hands.

Dad had this story. A Marine and a Navy guy walk into a bathroom together. They both take a piss, and then sailor goes to the sink. The Marine heads for the door, and the sailor says, "Hey- in the Navy they teach us to wash up after we take a leak." And the Marine turns around and says, "Yeah? Well, in the Marines they teach us not to piss on our hands.

Saddle your horse before sassin' the boss.

No animal, according to the rules of animal-etiquette, is ever expected to do anything strenuous, or heroic, or even moderately active during the off-season of winter.

Madame, may I see your dog's chit, please

What comes after "Dear" is worth some thought. Use first names only when you're already on a first-name basis. Don't become anybody's pen pal by unilateral action. Use titles — Dr., Judge, Professor, Senator — when they apply.

Regards," "Best wishes," "All the best" are more personal than the others and less formal, but not appropriate if you don't know your reader. And there isn't anything wrong with simply

The nice thing about quotes is that they give us a nodding acquaintance with the originator which is often socially impressive.

It is possible to tell things by a handshake. I like the "looking in the eye" syndrome. It conveys interest. I like the firm, though not bone crushing shake. The bone crusher is trying too hard to "macho it." The clammy or diffident handshake -- fairly or unfairly -- get me off to a bad start with a person.

Never paint your wife or your mother.

You don't have good grammar when you type with your fists.

Why do airline pilots always call passengers "folks"? I don't usually take umbrage at generic terminology--I'm one of those forward-thinkers who believes that "man" encompasses the whole darned race -- but at whatever 0'clock in the mornning. I thought it would be nice to be called sometihng that suggested unwashed masses a little less.

Never in England were there so many gentlemen and so little gentleness.

the technologies underlying e-mail are transformative, but the current social conventions guiding how we apply this technology are underdeveloped.

When it comes to Chinese food I have always operated under the policy that the less known about the preparation the better. A wise diner who is invited to visit the kitchen replies by saying, as politely as possible, that he has a pressing engagement elsewhere.

Canadians are very well behaved, they don't throw their food.

Fangs in an amusement park were just bad form.