Quotes About Etiquette

The Africans wouldn't consider it a real visit unless they ate.

The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.

It was the polite thing to talk to people about what they were interested in, not about what you were interested in.

As I am sure you know, when people say 'It's my pleasure,' they usually mean something along the lines of, 'There's nothing on Earth I would rather do less.' [...]

As I am sure you know, when people say 'It's my pleasure,' they usually mean something along the lines of, 'There's nothing on Earth I would rather do less.' [...]

It is not very polite to interrupt a person, of course, but sometimes if the person is very unpleasant you can hardly stop yourself.

Normally it is not polite to go into somebody's room without knocking, but you can make an exception if the person is dead, or pretending to be dead.

It is easy to decide on what is wrong to wear to a party, such as deep-sea diving equipment or a pair of large pillows, but deciding what is right is much trickier.

There are two good reasons to put your napkin in your lap. One is that food might spill in your lap, and it is better to stain the napkin than your clothing. The other is that it can serve as a perfect hiding place. Practically nobody is nosey enough to take the napkin off a lap to see what is hidden there.

It is, as you know, very, very rude and usually unnecessary to use profanity.

They were almond cookies, although they could have been made of spinach and shoes for all I cared. I ate eleven of them, right in a row. It is rude to take the last cookie.

What should we call him?" Klaus asked. "You should call him Dr. Montgomery," Mr. Poe replied, "unless he tells you to call him Montgomery. Both his first and last names are Montgomery, so it doesn't make much difference." "His name is Montgomery Montgomery?" Klaus said, smiling. "Yes, and I'm sure he's very sensitive about that, so don't ridicule him," Mr. Poe said, coughing again into his handkerchief.

How do you do?" said Violet. "How do you do?" said Klaus. "Odo yow!" said Sunny.

Calling a person 'sir' can often help you get what you want, unless of course the person is a woman.

The Baudelaire children wolfed down the peach, and under normal circumstances, it would not have been polite to eat something so quickly and so noisily, particularly in front of someone they did not know very well. But these were not at all normal, so even a manners expert would excuse them for their gobbling.

Asinine is a word that sounds like you shouldn't say it, so when you do say it, people often gasp. This makes it a delicious way of saying 'not very smart,' which is all it means.

I'll tell you why I'm Shirley," Count Olaf said. "I'm Shirley because I would like to be called Shirley, and it is impolite not to do so.

She took Sunny's coat off, and then her own, and dropped them both on the floor. Normally, of course, one should hang up one's coat on a hook or in a closet, but itchy hives are very irritating and tend to make one abandon such matters.

Nobody likes to be tapped on the knee. Practically nobody likes to be tapped anywhere.

Impertinent is a word which actually means not suitable to the circumstances, but most people use it to mean I am using a complicated word in hopes that it will make you stop talking....

A young man who asks too much about clothing will find himself the subject of unflattering rumors.

Never say you're hungry until you learn what they're fixing.

My family had taught me to eat everything on my plate, especially at a restaurant, where food is more expensive . . . But the shoemaker had a different way of thinking. She thought that if you were providing someone with dinner, the only way to tell if they were satisfied was if there was food left on their plate, because it meant you knew for sure they were no longer hungry.

I'm sorry we made you come all the way to our rooms just to take us right down the hall," Charles said. "It's my pleasure," Klaus said. As I'm sure you know, when people say, "It's my pleasure," they usually mean something along the lines of, "There's nothing on Earth I would rather do less