Quotes About Etiquette

I shush him. He crosses his arms. "I don't get why you guys get to talk during movies and I get shushed. It's pretty bullshit." "It's our house," Kitty says. "Your sister shushes me at my house too!" We ignore him in unison.

but I can tell she doesn't appreciate being offered a drink in her own home by someone who doesn't live there.

No, Peter, that was not a genuine thank you, so you do not need to say you're welcome.

Wow, how rude.

GUY TIP #18: Just because you can urinate anywhere you want doesn't mean you should-even if your aim is so good you can spell out "Red Sox Rule" in capital letters with once taking a break.

People can have nicknames. Body parts should not.

Quiet customers get served first.

Do you always introduce yourself by insulting people?

When someone's using an ATM, you want to be about six feet back. People get edgy around that ATM. They got their money out, their eyes are darting around. The other place I wanna be six feet away is urinals. ATMs and urinals–whenever someone's taking something valuable out of their pants you want to give them as much room as possible.

I really feel as human beings, we need more training in our basic social skills. Conversational distance: Don't you hate these people that talk into your mouth like you're a clown at a drive-through?

Not doing something crude right off is about as close as a guy like me ever gets to class.

I'm done peeing now." "Thank you for letting me know.

Never, ever point out that a woman is eating too much.

If you're on a plane and the person in front of you starts slowly tilting to one side, it means he's letting out a fart. Take cover!

Do you know how one knows a cavalier when one sees him? He always behaves decently when he is drunk.

She asked, what would he do if a lady happened to insist? Turner replied, "Madam, do you think that would be a lady?

A battle followed, fought in true Gilded Age fashion with oblique snubs and poisonous courtesy.

Everybody offers to buy one a drink; but nobody ever dreams of buying one a sandwich.

Although there exist many thousand subjects for elegant conversation, there are persons who cannot meet a cripple without talking about feet.

He was violating the second rule of the two rules for getting on well with people that speak Spanish; give the men tobacco and leave the women alone

If you brought up Joyce twice, you would not be invited back.

Don't be snotty too soon. And then don't be snotty at all.

If a man liked his friend's painting or writing, I thought it was probably like those people who like their families, and it was not polite to criticize them.

Can't you let a man die as comfortably as he can without calling him names?