Quotes About Provocation

A word to those of you out there who have yet to be offended by something I have said: Please be patient. I am working as fast as I can.

You know you're doing something right when you've reduced hordes of liberals to blind, sputtering rage.

If I had my way, all actors over 55 would be issued a 3-lb. wet salmon with which to slap the face of every young, beautiful, successful upstart.

When I was 15, I went to see the Stranglers at Bath Pavilion. I saw Jean-Jacques Burnel take off his bass and whack a skinhead over the head with it because he gave a Nazi salute. I thought: 'This is brilliant!'

Damn you villains, who are you? And from whence came you?

Whenever I've had a problem with any female in this entire game, I will say your name... I'm going to say your government. I'm going to look it up. I'm going to say your mother's name, your father's name, your kid's name. I want you to know that I'm talking about you.

Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience members all punch and kick one another.

Sprinkle in a bit of pro wrestling in MMA is good. You get the fans talking. They want that drama.

Duh! So, we're asking you now, what are some of your favorite lines that this warlock brain produced?

On 'R&B Divas,' there were times when we wanted to just sit and laugh and the producers created drama.

I've started to think that maybe I wouldn't mind passing my demented genius on to some small thing who can set fire and breathe profanity.

I like the idea of subversively communicating with people... so that you make people see things in different ways.

You put Carlos Molina in front of me? That's kind of disrespectful to me.

Me calling out Roy Jones is disrespectful.

I have this thing in the back of my brain that dares me to think of the most disturbing thing.

And I liked this extreme character of de Sade.

I still get blokes who say, 'Oh you hate men, don't you?' And I say, 'No, I just hate you.' I really love doing that, just to see the look on their faces.

I have no real enemies in comedy, but there are a couple of people who I'd laugh about if I heard that their legs had fallen off.

Mayweather does tease people all the time. He likes to get under your skin. That's what he's like.

He sells, he knows how to talk, he's smart, he's no fool. McGregor doesn't fight, he just reacts, he's never first to throw a punch. He goes in there to tease, not to fight. He's like Muhammad Ali.

Columbo's deliberately irritating questioning technique - 'just one more thing' - is designed to produce discomfort rather than to elicit information.

I feel like great TED Talks are ones that are a little bit subject to interpretation, that do provoke further conversation - and potentially controversy.

The dog is often quick to resent a kick, be it from man or beast, but I have never known him to show anger at the door that slammed to and hit him. Probably, if the door held him by his tail or his limb, it would quickly receive the imprint of his teeth.

David Allan Coe actually went to jail one time. Some fan cursed Lynyrd Skynyrd, and David Allan Coe kicked his teeth in. He ran and kicked a guy's teeth in for saying something about Lynyrd Skynyrd.