Quotes About History

Everybody blames the Jews for killing Christ, and the Jews try to pass it off on the Romans. I'm one of the few people who believes it was the blacks.

The boat was so old; it must have been launched when Long John Silver had two legs and an egg on his shoulder.

Everywhere's been where it is ever since it was first put there. It's called geography.

What year did Jesus think it was?

If you're black, you got to look at America a little bit different. You got to look at America like the uncle who paid for you to go to college, but who molested you.

School shootings were invented by blacks... and stolen by the white man.

There's no such thing as legacies. At least, there is a legacy, but I'll never see it.

If Lincoln were alive today, he'd be turning over in his grave.

I am mindful not only of preserving executive powers for myself, but for predecessors as well.

I should have no compassion on these witches; I should burn them all.

Humor is tragedy plus time.

Keep good relations with the Grecians.

Most of the laugh tracks on television were recorded in the early 1950's. These days, most of the people you hear laughing are dead.

Latin is already a dead language, man... don't make it any deader.

After all, religion has been around a lot longer than Darwinism.

Nostalgia: How long's that been around?

He comes back with the script, and it's racist like a 1940's Newspaper.

You can thank Henry Ford for that. He was a warlock, you know.

Been there, done that. I'm sure I've got a T-shirt somewhere to prove it.

When it comes to Jews, you have a two-thousand-year memory, but when it comes to us Palestinians, you have a sixty-year amnesia.

A woman without a past is like a fruitcake without brandy—insipid!

The pursuit of historical relevance is an under appreciated endeavor.

Living in a galaxy is like living in a neighborhood where the house down the street might have burned down four thousand years ago but you wouldn't know it for another three thousand years.

Those who forget history are doomed to repeat it in summer school