Quotes About Understanding

Truth is, nothing you say can ensure that the other person will get it, or respond the way you want. You may never exceed his threshold of deafness. She may never love you, not now or ever. And if you are courageous in initiating, extending, or deepening a difficult conversation, you may feel even more anxious and uncomfortable, at least in the short run.

Moving in this direction requires us to clarify—to ourselves and others—what's important to us. Having an authentic voice means that: We can openly share competence as well as problems and vulnerability. We can warm things up and calm them down. We can listen and ask questions that allow us to truly know the other person and to gather information about anything that may affect us. We can say what we think and feel, state differences, and allow the

Likewise, the other person has a right to know us accurately, to consider the relationship and make plans for the future based on facts, not fantasies or projections.

I feel calmed and relieved when my husband knocks at my study door in the middle of a fight, puts his arms around me, and says, "I love you. This is stupid. Let's just drop it." Like two kids in the sandbox, we're suddenly light and playful again.

Surely human consciousness would take a big leap forward if our wish to hear and understand were as great as our wish to be heard and understood.

venting anger does not solve the problem that anger signals.

Differences don't just threaten and divide us. They also inform, enrich, and enliven us. Indeed, differences are the only way we learn. If our intimate relationships were composed only of people identical to ourselves, our personal growth would come to an abrupt halt.

A marital therapist recently teased me, "Are you writing another book to help women speak up? I'm trying to help my clients be quiet." Then she said more seriously, "Why do people think they have to tell each other everything they feel?

Parent Effectiveness Training.

When we speak from the heart, we long for an ear to hear us, and we all have experienced that down feeling when we perceive ourselves as written off or misunderstood.

It is the intensity of our reactions toward another person's problem that ensures not only the escalation but also the continuation of the problem itself.

Duygusal olgunluÄŸun en önemli dönüm noktalar?ndan birisi çoÄŸul gerçeÄŸin geçerliliÄŸini fark etmek ve insanlar?n farkl? düÅŸünüp, farkl? hissedip, farkl? tepki verdiklerini anlamakt?r.

I resonate with the words of Anaïs Nin, "Each friend represents a world in us.

When we talk about a person being a problem, rather than directly to the person, we add to the underground anxiety and make it harder for the talked-about person to behave with confidence and competence.

We can learn to sit more comfortably with our confusion. We can operate from a solid position of self, even when the other person won't speak to us at all.

It is amazing how frequently we march off to battle without knowing what the war is all about.

Son olarak da, çoÄŸu ciddi öfke sorunlar?n?n ard?nda yatan ÅŸey, benliksizleÅŸmektir.

Learning is finding. Finding is losing something else.

When we believe we won't get through to the offending party, we often increase the intensity and lengthen our arguments. This does not help---and usually hurts. We may not recognize that our tone of voice or the sheer number of sentences may be the culprit.

It is my deliberate opinion that the one essential requisite of human welfare in all ways is scientific knowledge of human nature.

Instead, I value my images by what's in them; what they convey; and how people respond, react, pause while viewing them, or, perhaps, are enlightened by them.

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. —PHILIPPIANS 4:4–7

I'm not a music lover in the sense that I look for something to have on. I've never had that attitude to music.

Every prospect hopes you will heed the old New England proverb: "Don't talk unless you can improve the silence.