Quotes About Misdirection

As coisas de que falamos o mais das vezes em tom de gracejo são geralmente, ao contrário, as que incomodam, mas não queremos mostrá-lo, com talvez a esperança inconfessada de uma vantagem suplementar: de justamente a pessoa com quem conversamos, ouvindo-nos gracejar daquilo, pensar que não é verdade.

Don't ever ask directions of a Maine native," I was told. "Why ever not?" "Somehow we think it is funny to misdirect people and we don't smile when we do it, but we laugh inwardly. It is our nature." I wonder if that is true. I could never test it, because through my own efforts I am lost most of the time without any help from anyone.

The TSA must think we're mushrooms. You know, the way they are trying to keep us in the dark, and the way they keep feeding us a fertilizing agent that comes from the south end of a north-bound cow.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

A joke is not a thing but a process, a trick you play on the listener's mind. You start him off toward a plausible goal, and then by a sudden twist you land him nowhere at all or just where he didn't expect to go.

Let the American infidels bask in their illusion.

It is possible to lead astray an entire generation, to strike it blind, to drive it insane, to direct it towards a false goal. Napoleon proved this.

The magician and the politician have much in common: they both have to draw our attention away from what they are really doing.

Second to agriculture, humbug is the biggest industry of our age.

As a lover, I'm about as impressive as a magician on the radio.

Men who tell you they read the Ann Summers catalogue for the articles are lying.

Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it's Colin.

My mom was a ventriloquist and she always was throwing her voice. For ten years I thought the dog was telling me to kill my father.

There is a story of a man on all fours under a street lamp, searching for something. A policeman passing by asked what he was doing. "Looking for my car keys," replied the man, who appeared slightly drunk. "Did you drop them here?" inquired the officer. "No," answered the man, "I dropped them in the alley." Seeing the policeman's baffled expression, the man hastened to explain, "But the light is much better here.

The rook is my favourite piece,' she said. 'It's the one that you think you don't have to watch out for. It is straightforward. You keep your eye on the queen, and the knights, and the bishop, because they are the sneaky ones. But it's the rook that often gets you. The straightforward is never quite what it seems.

Der Turm ist meine Lieblingsfigur", sagte sie jetzt. "Man denkt, man müsse nicht auf ihn achten. Weil er sich immer unkompliziert geradeaus bewegt. Dame, Springer und Läufer behält man im Auge, weil sie sich heimlich anschleichen. Aber gerade der Turm wird einem oft zum Verhängnis. Das Umkomplizierte ist nie ganz das, was es zu sein scheint." - S. 104

The rook is my favorite piece. It's the one that you think you don't have to watch out for. It is straightforward. You keep your eye on the queen and the knights, and the bishop because they are the sneaky ones. But it's the rook that often gets you. The straightforward is never quite what it seems.

War is the answer. To the wrong question.

A joke is not a thing but a process, a trick you play on the listener's mind. You start him off toward a plausible goal, and then by a sudden twist you land him nowhere at all or just where he didn't expect to go.

Maxwell Smart: And I happen to know that at this very minute, seven Coast Guard cutters are converging on this boat. Would you believe it, seven? Mr. Big: I find that pretty hard to believe. Maxwell Smart: Would you believe six? Mr. Big: I don't think so. Maxwell Smart: How about two cops in a rowboat?

Damn it all. A perfect exit ruined by her crappy sense of direction.

The way Mr. Ronan had acted seemed to be of a piece with this woman's behaviour. I felt a need to see where she was leading. It was none of her business, so I lied.

A man who saw has turned blind, A hearer deaf, A leader now leads astray!

Idolatria e' scambiare il mezzo con il fine.