Quotes About Stand-up

The driving force behind doing everything that I've been doing for 11 years as a stand-up is having problems with authority and not liking to be told what to do.

I love stand-up, but the process of writing is a little more lonely. I want to keep doing both, though.

Comedy is not easy to do - where you make someone laugh out loud in their living room.

Louis C. K. makes me laugh, I must say.

As I see it, there's mainstream comedy - and then there's me, out in the badlands.

I try to make the majority of my audience laugh.

It's not like every male comic you meet is funny. Like, a lot of them are not funny.

When I started stand-up, it was really just to have a go at alpha males essentially, there was no plan and there never has been really.

Cougar jokes are now as hackneyed as airplane food.

It's the ultimate pinnacle of stand-up to have an hour on HBO, but way more people see Comedy Central and they've been good to me.

It feels amazing to just be here and be able to share my jokes with the world. It's not so much about being a girl, it's about being a funny comic.

I am a guy who talks about bacon and escalators.

I'd like to make you laugh for about ten minutes though I'm gonna be on for an hour.

I'm a stand up comic and I always sit and slouch, and I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile uncles pull-out couch.

I'm funny. I'm a comedian. I'm not a clown.

I have to tell you I enjoy Jon Stewart. That's the truth. I actually think he's very funny. I've paid to see him do his stand-up routine.

I did a gig in the U.S. once for the homeless. I said 'It's nice to see so many bums on seats.'

There's always going to be someone as funny as you or funnier.

My first open mic, I drank a full pitcher of beer by myself. I wasn't afraid of being in front of people as much as, Is this funny?

I don't think of myself as funny - I don't fill up a room with my humor... I would fail miserably as a stand-up comedian.

I don't like people whose job it isn't to be funny, to tell me what is and isn't funny.

Comics write to their point of view. If you're an exceedingly irreverent comedian, you've got to see where that point of view fits or produces the most funny.

When I started off in DC, you didn't get viral first. You got funny first.

A lot of people who claim they're political comedians are just comedians who have opinions. But they stop being funny the minute they give their opinions.