Quotes About Freedom

I am proud to be an American. Because an American can eat anything on the face of this earth as long as he has two pieces of bread.

Do you mind if I don't smoke?

Being seventy has its advantages. I was outspoken before, but now what have I got to keep quiet about?

It's funny that they've called homosexuality a crime... At this rate, everyone will be a criminal.

All the best stories in the world are but one story in reality - the story of escape. It is the only thing which interests us all and at all times, how to escape.

Always be drunk ... Get drunk militantly. Just get drunk.

The internet has done nothing but good for comedy all around. Comedians no longer have to rely on TV execs and club owners deciding if they are funny or not.

In TV today, you can say I pricked my finger, but you can't say it the other way around.

Capitalism is a funny name which lefties give to basic freedom.

If you lived today as if it were your last, you'd buy up a box of rockets and fire them all off, wouldn't you?

British people would die for their right to drink themselves to death.

I'm a big fan of comedians not having to apologize for anything. Nowadays it seems comedians are always apologizing for being funny.

The midget, Bush, and that Rumsfeld deserve only to be beaten with shoes by freedom loving people everywhere.

It had never occurred to us that the Kremlin's new anti-booze campaign would apply to journalists. Now, that's a human-rights violation.

... the moral equal of our Founding Fathers.

The American success formula is first to get a home of your own, then to get a car of your own so you don't have to stay in that home of your own.

I take Charb's point, but at some point has Charlie Hebdo been trying to have it both ways because some of what they do is not funny.

G'bye, I'm going out to play!

You know the one thing that's wrong with this country? Everyone gets a chance to have their fair say.

So they finally gave you the license to kill, about time.

...that was before I'd started thinking about how life stuck on a ship wouldn't be so bad if Elder walked around pantless more.

How are we going to get out of here?""Oh, escape is easy once you have the right

I will take all my rights! Can you deliver them to my house?

I once took a poo in the woods while hunched over like an animal. It was AWESOME.