Quotes About Identity

I really wanted to be nasty and mean and bad. It's so much easier than being the good girl

I lent a friend of mine $10,000 for plastic surgery and now I don't know what he looks like.

The reason I drink is because when I'm sober I think I'm Eddie Fisher.

It's funny looking at yourself. You know how it is when you look back at old pictures? It's just funny looking back at yourself walking and talking at age 14

Every black American is bilingual. All of them. We speak street vernacular and we speak 'job interview.'

Now, I don't see color. People tell me I'm white and I believe them because police officers call me 'sir'.

I'm actually pale blue: it takes me a week of sunbathing to turn white.

They love their hair because they're not smart enough to love something more interesting.

If you had to eat another human to survive, do you think they'd taste like their ethnic background?

We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.

What is it like to be a bat? What is it like for a bat to be a bat?

A mate of mine has just told me he's shagging his girlfriend and her twin, I said how can you tell them apart, he said "her brothers got a moustache!"

I couldn't settle in Italy - it was like living in a foreign country.

Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?

When I die, I want to decompose in a barrel of porter and have it served in all the pubs in Dublin. I wonder would they know it was me?

Not that smart. Not that hot. Not that nice. Not that funny. That's me: I'm not that.

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

Stories in families are colossally important. Every family has stories: some funny, some proud, some embarrassing, some shameful. Knowing them is proof of belonging to the family.

I would rather be funny than gorgeous, absolutely. Because it's too hard to be gorgeous, you know. I could make a stab at gorgeous as long as I had something funny to say to get out of it.

It feels amazing to just be here and be able to share my jokes with the world. It's not so much about being a girl, it's about being a funny comic.

I am who I am. I can't pretend to be somebody who makes $25,000 a year.

I think a lot of the time you just parody yourself.

I don't want to be put on a pedestal. I want to be known as a nice and normal person, but my skills are a little more excelled.

I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect!