Quotes About Hospitality

There were two Irishmen eating sandwiches in a pub and the landlord said: "You can't eat your own food in here." So they swapped sandwiches.

A guy wanted the vet to cut his dog's tail off. The vet asked why. Well, my mother in law is visiting next month and I want to eliminate any possible indication that she is welcome.

Boy what a hotel that was, why they stole my towel.

Why don't they have waiters in waiting rooms?

I was booked into the Riviera Hotel in Las Vegas with three other comedians. We all were using the Riviera in-house shampoo, so we all had equal shine and bounce.

The service at this airport restaurant is so bad I'm starting to panic that I'm a ghost.

People will always be tempted to wipe their feet on anything with 'welcome' written on it.

Attracting musicians is rather like inviting flies over to tea: they are tolerable for half an hour, but when they begin to touch the food, you either wish they would go home or die.

Awe! Leaving so soon?" Gabby said sweetly, holding the door open. "I was just about to pull out the gun for you to play single-player Russian Roulette.

Southern hospitality and Amish cooking - Ya'll Come Back, Danki.

Soak blanket in gravy and make a delicious brick wrap. Serve in All Gravy Room at the Mandrake Hotel.

Don't let your teeth make you lose respect by permanently keeping them opened for the sake of being friendly.

Pardon me Mam, I'm new in town, could you please show me the way to your house?

Lord Emsworth belonged to the people-like-to-be-left-alone-to-amuse-themselves-when-they-come-to-a-place school of hosts

always serve too much hot fudge sause on the hot fudge sundaes.It makes people overjoyed, and puts them in your debt

Couldn't he have come out and greeted her like a civil human being instead of lurking from his kitchen while she shared a clearly intimate moment with his brisket?

The French have the right respect for dogs--in France we chiens get to go to lunch and dinner anytime, anywhere.

Welcome, welcomePlease feel welcomedWelcome, oh welcomeWe are pleased to have you here.

The key to being a great agent is treating everyone like a celebrity and treating a celebrity like everyone else.

Come on, it is a guest bedroom! If you want your guests to feel at home, they should be allowed to do whatever they do at home!

Have some more tea, dear, " Hester said, reaching for the pot and refilling my cup. "I always find that helps.

The magic formula that successful businesses have discovered is to treat customers like guests and employees like people.

Each of us is an innkeeper who decides if there is room for Jesus!

When a customer enters my store, forget me. He is king.