Quotes About Struggle

A fight is like a fire. You think you have it under control, you think you can stop it whenever you want, but before you know it, it's living, breathing thing and there's no controlling it and you were a fool to think you could.

I hated him more than anything. I loved him more than anything. Because, he was everything. And I hated that, too.

I had been lying to myself, thinking I was free, thinking I had let him go. It didn't matter what he said or did, I'd never let him go." - Belly Conklin

He pulled my foot, drawing me closer. Being this close to him was making me feel dizzy and nervous. I said it again, one last time, even though i didn't mean it. "Conrad let go of me." He did. And then he dunked me. It didn't matter. I was already holding my breath.

Suddenly I had this feeling, this absolute certainty, that I was never going to be able to let him go. It was as simple and as hard as that. I had clung to him like a barnacle all these years, and now I couldn't cut away. It was my own fault, really. I couldn't let go of Conrad.

It will get easier each time, I think. I hope. I just have to keep trying.

Why is it so hard to say no to him? Is this what it's like to be in love with somebody?

He took a step closer. "I don't know if I'll ever get you out of my system, not completely. I have this... feeling. That you'll always be there. Here." Conrad clawed at his heart and then dropped his hand.

It wasn't was easy as picking one over the other. Nothing ever was. It wasn't as though I'd even had a choice, not really.

It's crazy, how similar we are. Here's both of us, working through our stuff, trying to make something positive out of something really bad.

I went over and over everything that had ever happened between us. I couldn't keep doing it, going back and fourth, holding her close and then pushing her away. It wasn't right

When she leaned forward to mess with the AC vents, her hair brushed against my leg and it was really soft. It made remember all over again. It made it hard to stay pissed and keep her at arm's length the way I'd planned. It was pretty near damn impossible. When I was near her, I just wanted to grab her and hold her and kiss the shit out of her. Maybe then she'd forget about my asshole of a brother.

I tried to communicate happiness in that word, but I don't know if it came out that way. All I was feeling was despair. And envy. Envy so thick and so black I felt like I was choking on it.

Because sometimes words were so pitifully inadequate, and I knew that, but I had to try anyway.

Just when we thought everything was going to be okay, we all fell apart.

It took a long time for me to get better, but I did. I got better. But suddenly it's like the last four years never happened, and I'm feeling all the same terrible feelings about myself that I did back then.

And now I just want to not exist.

I keep trying to block it out, but it keeps on coming back.

Although I'm tired, and it feels like years since I had a good night's rest, I can't bring myself to fall asleep. It's like I've forgotten how.

That's how I'm feeling about everything these days: ugh. No.

The old pull, the tide drawing me back in. I kept getting caught in this current—first love, I mean. First love kept making me come back to this, to him. He still took my breath away, just being near him. I had been lying to myself the night before, thinking I was free, thinking I had let him go. It didn't matter what he said or did, I'd never let him go. I

Envy so thick and so black I felt like I was choking on it.

Her mind can't go to the dark places mine does.

Maybe it's not that I'm a Mysterious Girl. Maybe it's that I'm a Not Good Enough Girl.