Quotes About Time

It usually takes me two or three days to prepare an impromptu speech.

Every person is a book, each year a chapter

Humor is tragedy plus time.

I apologize for such a long letter - I didn't have time to write a short one.

Herodotus says, Very few things happen at the right time, and the rest do not happen at all: the conscientious historian will correct these defects.

Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.

If you want me to give you a two-hour presentation, I am ready today. If you want only a five-minute speech, it will take me two weeks to prepare.

New Year's Day: Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.

His head was an hour-glass; it could stow an idea, but it had to do it a grain at a time, not the whole idea at once.

I was born lazy. I am no lazier now than I was forty years ago, but that is because I reached the limit forty years ago. You can't go beyond possibility.

Never knew before what eternity was made for. It is to give some of us a chance to learn German.

Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.

Memories which someday will become all beautiful when the last annoyance that encumbers them shall have faded out of our minds.

When the end of the world comes, I want to be in Cincinnati because it's always 20 years behind the times.

I came in with Halley's Comet in 1835. It is coming again next year, and I expect to go out with it. It will be the greatest disappointment of my life if I don't go out with Halley's Comet. The Almighty has said, no doubt: Now here are these two unaccountable freaks; they came in together, they must go out together.

When the Lord finished the world, he pronounced it good. That is what I said about my first work, too. But Time, I tell you, Time takes the confidence out of these incautious opinions. It is more than likely that He thinks about the world, now, pretty much as I think about the Innocents Abroad. The fact is, there is a trifle too much water in both.

I have been an author for 20 years and an ass for 55.

Most men die at 27, we just bury them at 72

But the elastic heart of youth cannot be compressed into one constrained shape long at a time.

I was dead for millions of years before I was born and it never inconvenienced me a bit.

Most people can't bear to sit in church for an hour on Sundays. How are they supposed to live somewhere very similar to it for eternity?

Man has been here 32,000 years. That it took a hundred million years to prepare the world for him is proof that that is what it was done for. I suppose it is. I dunno. If the Eiffel tower were now representing the world's age, the skin of paint on the pinnacle-knob at its summit would represent man's share of that age; and anybody would perceive that that skin what what the tower was built for. I reckon they would, I dunno.

We are so strangely made; the memories that could make us happy pass away; it is the memories that break our hearts that abide.

The face of the water, in time, became a wonderful book- a book that was a dead language to the uneducated passenger, but which told its mind to me without reserve, delivering its most cherished secrets as clearly as if it uttered them with a voice. And it was not a book to be read once and thrown aside, for it had a new story to tell every day.