Quotes About Time

I told him he'd have a heart attack a year ago, but unfortunately he lived a year longer.

I don't need you to remind me of my age. I have a bladder to do that for me.

As you were, I was. As I am, you will be.

You never realize how short a month is until you pay alimony.

Do not try to live forever. You will not succeed.

If you take off your pants and her first reaction is, "Awwww, look at it...like a little baby Jesus." Time to buy a Porsche.

There was confusion since I stood here 35 years ago.

Senescence begins And middle-age ends The day your descendants Outnumber your friends

Humor is the oxygen of children's literature. There's a lot of competition for children's time, but even kids who hate to read want to read a funny book.

You're the strangest person I ever met, she said & I said you too & we decided we'd know each other a long time.

It's funny, I listen to friends who talk about back when they were 14, eight, 16, whatever, as if it was yesterday. Me, I've no idea what I did. It's all a blur, I'm afraid.

I'd have to be superman to do some of the things I'm supposed to have done, I've been at six different places at six different times.

Just because you're old that doesn't mean you're more forgetful. The same people whose names I can't remember now I couldn't remember fifty years ago. . .

There is a statue of limitation.

As long as you're remembering baby Jesus, does it matter when you're remembering him. That's what I'm saying about Christmas, I might not be in the mood for it December 25th.

Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.

I never put on a pair of shoes until I've worn them at least five years.

I didn't see the time, largely because there wasn't one.

He [Steve McQueen] must have made that before he died.

Yes it's her husband. She hasn't got over it. Died thirty years ago.

The clocks are all turned forward from Funny Time to Right Time. I always remember, "Spring back or Fall in.

Allow me to put the record straight. I am forty-six and have been for some years past.

Long note? Yes. Make it seem short.

Leader, bandits at 2 o'clock! Roger; it's only 1:30 now-what'll I do 'til then?