Quotes About Skepticism

People come up to me and say, 'Emo, do people really come up to you?'

I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.

Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bullshit before.

Anybody who says they are a good liar obviously is not, because any legitimately savvy liar would always insist they're honest about everything.

Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

The true New Yorker secretly believes that people living anywhere else have to be, in some sense, kidding.

All those who believe in psychokinesis - raise my hand.

In my lifetime, we've gone from Eisenhower to George W. Bush. We've gone from John F. Kennedy to Al Gore. If this is evolution, I believe that in twelve years, we'll be voting for plants.

Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.

i find nothing more depressing than optimism.

Can somebody explain to me why Pepsi and Coke advertise? Are we missing something? Seriously, everyone in this room has drank enough Pepsi and Coke in their lifetime they could piss it for a week.

An honest politician is an oxymoron.

You don't ever ask a barber whether you need a haircut.

Cynicism is the humor of hatred.

When you're certain you cannot be fooled, you become easy to fool.

It's all bullshit, folks and it's bad for ya.

I'm happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in.

All of our lives are governed by a certain degree of faith in bullshit.

English humor resembles the Loch Ness Monster in that both are famous but there is a strong suspicion that neither exists.

I will not bond. I will not share. I refuse to nurture.

The only non-believer I encountered was Oscar Levant who wouldn't visit Disneyland because he said he had his own hallucinations.

Tell people there's an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure.

Sun is bad for you. Everything our parents said was good is bad. Sun, milk, red meat...college,